Neurologist follow up

Today I had the follow up with my neurologist as we try to get a hold on my pain and sleeping. The muscle relaxants I had worked only for a few hours which happened again last night. My neurologist decided to change my medication from one muscle relaxant to two different medications. He has prescribed one for me to aid me in falling asleep and then a second medication to help me control the pain through out the day. I shared with him how the left leg is like a tooth ache in that it is constant. He asked if it was hurting me then and I pointed to some areas of my leg as to where it hurt and the actions I try to do in an effort to cope. I am hoping that these medications will work. It would be so nice to go to bed each night and know the majority of times I will be able to stay in bed through the night and not have to get up due to pain and muscle spasms. That is very frustrating to me and wearing on me mentally.

On a brighter note I am continuing to clean out junk and sift through stuff for selling soon I hope. I am confident that if it is His Will then I will have a buyer. I will remain open to what God wants me to do at this point. Well actually at every point this is just one more in my life.

Finally done

As I mentioned earlier the stairs are a real enemy for me especially in the early morning or late at night. Early in the morning my leg is not working, I have to like wake it up, so going down the stairs is tricky. In the evening it is difficult to raise the left leg up to go up the stairs due to fatigue. So I wanted to paint the house to sell, I never got siding :(. I had planned on having it painted by the middle of May. Who would have thought here it is the end of July and it is finally finished. Without the help of my brother, Jim, it would still not be completed. I tried going up only two steps on step ladders to reach as much as I could. It is tricky trying to learn a new center of balance when the left leg is mostly paralyzed. I tried to take my time and be real careful until last Thursday when I fell, bruising some ribs. I guess ladders are one more add to my list of new evils. It is so nice to have the house done and I will admit it looks pretty.

I am trying to use my pool as much as possible for therapy too by kicking the leg. I need to do more and more exercises or the leg will lose muscle mass and agility that I have.

Sunday

Well last night was the first night in almost two weeks that I actually slept in my bed for the entire night. It was actually quite nice to be able to wake and go back to sleep again. My back is still sore but getting better so that is a good thing. I have two doctor appointments this week so I am hoping between the two of them at least one can come up with an idea for me to be mostly pain free during my nights. My physical therapy has also ended and I have noticed my leg getting stiff with less movement. I was hoping that with my activities around the house would work to keep my left leg in muscle shape. Unfortunately I have noticed the leg muscles getting tighter and my movement getting worse. With our great medical coverages wanting to stop paying for my therapy they say it must stop. So today I have decided to start to discipline myself to do my own therapy because if I don't my leg is going to get worse and there will be more atrophy to the leg.

Late Night

Well it was true my back was really sore today, the day after falling off the ladder. I was only a few steps up the ladder too but with no control thus flexibility on my left side I fall like a sack of sugar. Usually the leg is what will wake me up but as luck would have it my back is making it hard to sleep. There are some doctor appointments next week so I am praying that maybe they can change some medications and help me to sleep and control the muscle pain in my left leg. I do know that mentally it is very draining. . . .

One Year

It was one year ago today that I lay on an operating table while they took the tumor out of my brain. What an interesting year it has been too. I have so many people telling me, "Look how far you have come" and I honestly do not see it. I guess one reason why is because I am so busy going forward I don't take time to stop and look around. When I do reflect I see how much I have done and accomplished in one year. To think that a year ago Dr Pilcher cut my skull off and went into my brain and here I am living life again is amazing in so many ways.

Now onto today. In my efforts to get this monster of a house painted so I can sell it I am so close to finishing I thought I would put efforts into painting. It is so close to being done I wanted to get into it. I had just bought a new aluminium 6 foot step ladder for safety too. Well I did pretty good and I 'thought' I could reach a bit further extending out to the left. I started to lose my balance and with my left leg having a mind of its own, it would not listen to me when I was telling it to bend and balance back. So as if in slow motion I fell to the left side and went down. Damage control was done after I finished falling and I had hit my back which was hurt and marked up but other than that I was good to go. I could say I am still learning my new normal but I think really it is trying to learn to accept what my new limitations are. Either way I am so grateful for today and the ability to paint and enjoy the day. I did take a dip in the pool afterwards to cool off and it worked wonderfully. I cannot swim around at all like I use to but it is nice and enjoyable and great for exercise.

On a last note the medication for helping me sleep and take care of the leg muscles seems to be working less and less. Last night I was up from 12:30 am til 3 in the morning before I was able to get back to sleep. I called my neurologist and he said we have an appointment set up in another week so we will look at it then. I guess for now I will suffer through each night and get what sleep I can. I do know when I awoke this morning I was real tired so maybe I will take some afternoon naps.

End of a weekend

The weekend was more of a rehabilitation than anything else. I think, actually I know, I must have pushed a little bit too much. I am nursing my left ankle and both calf muscles back to health. I am still learning my new normal, I guess. Life is going on and so am I to the best of my ability. The difference is my ability is not what it was and never will be. I know at least the MRI's are spread out more to see when the tumor decides to make its return. Over all it was a great weekend though, I saw Inception which was a great movie with a neat psychological aspect. My plan now that I am legal to drive is to take my Trans AM out for a spin and enjoy her with some music playing, in sunshine 'of course'. I am hoping to take the next six weeks and spend a lot of time just relaxing and enjoying some sunshine.

One Day Later

Well it has been one day since I pushed myself to go up three steps on a ladder to paint yesterday and I am still suffering. I was up for about two hours in pain last night from my legs. The muscles in the calf area is what hurts on both legs. I think the right one hurts so much because I was tensing the muscle up to keep my balance. I was hoping that by this time the pain would go away but it hasn't. I guess I am still learning what is new for me and learning how I cannot push like I use to do. Even if the push is for good it is may not be the healthiest thing for me to be doing. I am praying for a restful night tonight. I was hoping to drive my Trans AM today but the legs were so sore I could not chance it. On a brighter note we went to see Inception with Leonardo "you know who" and it was a fantastic movie.