3 Days and counting

Well I finally called my doctor for results from my MRI. I was told that when the results come in they will call. That means it is a wait and see, not for headaches because they are still here. Sorry this is short but not too much to share and I am tired.

Results

Well hopefully I will hear some results from my MRI by Wednesday. Then we will know if the headaches are from the regrowth or if it is something else. I have never had migraine headaches so maybe you can get them later in life or is it stress? I am just hoping for restful nights and days as it goes. This week I am alone as Grama is with our little Molly, which I wish I was too. Over all though the leg, foot and hip are maintaining but I am definitely not making any more advances is usage. Not too much else to write tonight.

MRI Update

Well today was the day for yet another MRI which this makes five of them in about eighteen months. You would think someone like me who is claustrophobic as I am might grow use to them and not need medication to help me relax. Well there is a huge difference between a year ago and today's. A year ago I was so heavily medicated that I have no recollection of it like having to be put in a wheelchair because I could not stand up going into the place. Today I remember it all 100%. There was also one difference in today's MRI and my last two. Three MRI's ago they used an infusion for one part of the MRI process and this time they did the same thing. Good sign or bad I have no idea as I realize, know and accept it is what it is. Outcomes really do not scare or bother me that much at all what is nice is to see is who and what family members I know are there to support me and let me know. For that I am truly grateful as I am to all those who are supportive in other ways like commenting on my blog to me. The paralysis and issues that I face unfortunately do and are not decreasing but they are changing in different ways, that is something God will help me deal with and get through. I will update when I get the results.

What a day

Well today was quite interesting. I had an arbitration hearing to attend, actually I was the Arbitrator. I look at my life and take a lot for granted until I share with someone what I am and all I can do or have accomplished. So when I was done with the arbitration I was downtown Rochester and had to use one of the paid parking lots. Due to my left leg and its paralysis I need to open my car door wide to be able to swing my left leg in or out depending upon what I am doing. I left enough room when I got out and went for my hearing, but when I came back someone had parked their car real close. I opened my door and tried to get in right leg first and then pull my left leg is but I got stuck and had to physically force myself to push my left leg back out. So to try a new avenue I put my left leg in first and then tried to maneuver my right leg in and was able to do so. The problem is the car next to me had a small scratch in it because I could not get into my car. I tried my best to get into the car doing as little damage as possible.

Well I get my MRI in just two days, I do not like being put in that small tube one bit. I try not to think about and wait until it gets here. I have had a day, twenty-four hour period, free of any headaches so that was nice. Other than that life has been going along.

September Sunday

This coming Saturday is my MRI to make sure nothing is growing back right now. Personally I do not think anything is wrong and there is some other reason for my headaches coming on. I have had headaches the last three nights that interrupted my sleep requiring me to take vicodin. There is also stress and life occurring for me and I think that is the reason for my headaches. I did have a good weekend though especially compared to last weekend when I could not get up and off the couch due to my headaches.

Follow Up

Well I went to see my primary physician and I 'expected' to have him check me over and offer me a prescription for relief from the headaches. Well my expectations were not met, as instead of giving me a prescription he said he was calling my neurologist and medical coverage provider so I can have an MRI done. That was something I was not expecting at all. So now I will sit and wait, actually no I cannot sit and wait. I will continue to teach my courses, see clients and live life as I wait for approval and then see what the results are from an MRI. At this point I do not know nor have a thought on which way the results may go. I do know the doctors said the tumor can be fast or slow growing they do not know. Either way I know God is in control of everything and anything that takes place and that gives me all the comfort I need. I do wish the headaches would subside, and that is all it may be too. It has gone from a 9 to a 2 as I told the doctor but still there. He also asked me if I noticed any increase in paralysis of my leg, foot or something else. I told him I have not noticed any but then I would not because I am always just trying to live the best I can. He agreed that I would not notice if it had increased. I am glad that my doctor wants to play it safe and not take any choices with my health.

Sleepless night

I ended up with only two hours of sleep last night because of my headache. The headache started on Friday when I was ending a session with my client. Most of my weekend was spent on the couch dealing with the headache. I was hoping it would be gone soon but it kept me awake most of even last night. Good news is my doctor is going to see me tomorrow so 'maybe' we can deal with the issue. Hopefully the doctor is able to help me though I think it may mean yet one more medication.

Sunday Evening

Well today was not too different from yesterday. My night was not a restful one and today my head still hurts. I am taking medication to try and stay ahead of it as Beth says to do. I want to take it that much easier because my week starts tomorrow and I will need my strength to go forward and greet the week. I am not sure why it hurts but it is really keeping me down and so instead of fighting it I will rest and take care of myself through it.

Weekend

Well I lost most of today. I was able to mow the lawn and that was about it. I came home yesterday with a massive headache like I got after the brain surgery. The headache kept me up through the night which was restless and hard. After mowing I came in and ended up on the couch the rest of the entire day taking my medications to try and fight the headache off. I hate losing a day like that but I had no choice. I hope tomorrow brings a better time.

Labor Day

Well my night time medications are still working so that is good as I have been on them for long enough for them to stop working if they were to stop. So my night time rest has been good with a few exceptions. That being said I am mending from my latest fall. I have learned a few things which I should have already known. First is that one reason I hate falling is because I cannot get back up. When I fell it was so difficult to stand up even with Beth helping me. The left leg just will not move for me, be it to walk, step or swing to support me standing up. Sleeping was difficult last night because every time I rolled over on my left side I would wake up due to the soreness. The one thing that is hard for me to deal with is being in need of help. Since around the age of eight I depended upon myself to get things done. To sit there helplessly on the floor with Beth trying to help me stand up and it was useless until I could maneuver my left leg around to assist a bit more. It is also hard to balance this learning and not to look like I am feeling sorry. I want to learn to do as much as I possibly can on my own which I know will come in due time.

Same old story

It has been a few days since I last updated on my blog. There is a few things that have happened, one is my medications that have changed. The medications have been working great until the last two nights. I am praying that it is just by chance so I guess tonight will give me a better indication. There have been other things happening in life and I think that may be why I had restless nights, not the medication. Good news is we have been having 90+ degree weather so I have made use of the pool and exercising my leg in the pool. It took me a few times to get down a routine for maximum gain but I think I got it. We are suppose to have at least one or two more hot days where I may get the exercising in. What would be nice is if insurance companies took maintaining usage as necessary. They don't so I have to make due with what I have.

On another note I made me some soup to eat this afternoon and once done I grabbed my bowl and headed for the family room to eat. The family room is one step down and I stopped and thought so I could maintain my balance as I made my way down. I thought, waited, looked, thought, balanced and concluded that I would step down with my good right foot first. The thing is once I start to step unlike before my paralysis I could re-group like normal and balance. With life's changes I cannot do that so I have to commit once I take a step and follow through. Well as I started to lower my right foot I felt my balance going off center and with the foot in mid air and my left unable to move I could feel myself start to go. I tried to balance the soup that was hot and keep me up. As if it were slow motion I fell back the soup went forward all over the kitchen and family room while I hit my head, arm and ankle. Created quite a nice mess if I do say so myself. I really felt as if by now I should have it down as to how I balance, step and walk. I wonder if others have this same problem and how long or what did they do to compensate? I am thinking maybe I should develop some balancing exercises. So bruised body and ego, to some degree, I am calling it a day and night.