HOME!

Hello all! Yes this is the Dr Phil himself... the hospital released me today saying I have made amazing progress [we all know it is God]. They also told me prior to leaving that because they want my staples [65] out by next week and for some reason they take vacation [just kidding as they deserve it] they took them out before I left. I had two requests, one was I do not want to see the remover and, two I want all 65 to take with me! Seriously I did, and the Nurse Practitioner said yes and even gave me the remover as a remembrance too! Wasn't too bad at all really, but I had a bit of a headache a bit later. Anyway home and doing well. I am seeing how much life has changed and what my current limitations are, which I will change! With God's help of course. If you call having numbers if I am able to talk I will if not I will not hesitate to say I will chat later or let it go to voice mail. I do appreciate the interaction, life is important for me to get back into. It to me is amazing to think back to Wednesday morning of surgery, what was before all and now what is. What to me is also amazing is the fact that prior to surgery Dr Pilcher and Susan (his NP) told me I would be on morphine and then step down to vicodin and down less. Well let me tell you, morphine was used Wed, Thur and Friday, by Saturday I was on Vicodin and after Monday night I took Tylenol at the hospital two times. Now THAT is Amazing to me. To have a doctor do what he did, and I have virtually no pain to be in is just amazing. Some at the hospital talked to me about it and I told them GOD is so amazing, He can and WILL do anything He wants.... and if someone does not believe me, just ask Him. Anyway, Beth and I had wonderful afternoon. I craved MickyD's fries so Beth bought me some. I also told Sue (NP) to relay to Dr Pilcher that I use to be a coffee addict, now.... I take three sips of a cup in the morning and badda bing I am done! Tried a coke last night, took four sips and no more. Will it change I have no idea time will tell but for some reason I so not like caffeine. I start my re hab on Monday for getting use back and all. Anyway thank you all for your prayers and thoughts and I will update as time goes........

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thank you all for your prayers and support God is Awesome

Wednesday, One Week Later

Hi everyone,
I just left Phil's hospital room and cannot believe that just one short week ago we were praying for the surgeon and for Phil's recovery. It's so difficult to imagine that one could have brain surgery and within a week be ready to go home (Thank you Father). Today, I spoke with his therapists (physical and occupational) and they all agree that Phil's endurance is getting better every day and that his going home will be such a positive (of course, he will have in-home nursing care, physical and occupational therapists), but who among us wouldn't rather convalesce in their very own home as opposed to a hospital room (35 min from home)? Phil walked about 150 feet down a room (and back) without taking a break (he was assisted with a walker) but keep in mind yesterday he made the same walk and needed about 3-4 breaks. I started thinking as I was driving home that our God is amazing and yet, He doesn't allow for everyone to be healed (take my Andy for example, our heart's desire was that he be completely healed and yet God's will was that he be taken from us) It made me wonder why? Why are some prayers answered (like we ask) and some not so much (only in a human aspect, I realize that God answers ALL prayers). In any event, Phil and I believe that God has a plan for his life and that He will use this experience to touch other lives. We don't pretend to know or understand our Lord, only that we believe. If God needs Phil alive and functioning then, he's ready to be used. I thank each and everyone of you for your words of encouragement, your prayers and your support. Your cards make his day! I'll update more tomorrow (who knows, they will probably tell me that Phil has set-up a free counseling center in the break room, which sounds just like him, always concerned for others before himself). Thank you Father for surrounding us with such wonderful and supportive friends and family. Beth

Next Stop, Home...

Hi everyone,
I spoke with Phil this morning. He was very excited to report that he had showered, shaved and gotten himself dressed (ah, the little things we take for granted), but the really BIG news is that his team of doctors, nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists (and probably the lunch lady) met this morning to discuss his case and right now they are considering letting him go home on Friday. I hesitate to write this in case it changes, but it's so exciting I cannot keep it to myself! God is so good, it's amazing that just one week ago Phil was having the tumor removed and now we're discussing him leaving the hospital. There are some things that will need to happen over the next couple of days like his test results need to stay within the normal range and he needs to continue to regain his strength, but all else being equal, he may be back in our home within the next couple of days. The staff at the hospital has said all along that Phil was ahead of the curve and it looks like he's taking that curve right to the finish line. Hurrah! Please continue to keep Phil's recovery in your prayers, it's still a long road as he learns to balance his physical self with his "want to" self. He will tire easily for quite some time and I am sure that will bring its own frustrations, but, for now, we rest in God's strong and capable hands. Praise God for all that He has done and all that He will continue to do. Beth

Tuesday Evening

Hello Friends,
Thank you so much for your prayers. Phil moved into the rehab unit last night (can we say 11:30pm) and had his first day at physical therapy. Thanks to Kate for posting that visitors are welcome. I should tell you that Phil's therapy schedule is from 10-11:30am and from 2:30-4:00pm (each and everyday). That said, if you plan a visit please come before or after his therapy sessions and don't feel a need to stay long. Most people don't realize that 15-20 minutes is a good amount of time to someone who is recuperating. Just keeping up a conversation can be a little tiring. Phil continues to do well, his white cell count is pretty high and the doctors have begun the task of figuring out what could be the problem. Sometimes, steroids can accelerate a white cell count however none of the doctor's on the ward have ever seen it this high (I tried to explain that Dr. Phil likes to feel special) however, they did a chest x-ray, some additional blood work and tests and hopefully by tomorrow the problem will be solved. Otherwise, life is settling down and Phil's physical therapy is keeping him challenged and tired. Please continue to pray for encouragement and healing. Thanks. Beth

Your Presence is Requested

This post is mainly for those who live in or near the Rochester area. Please visit Phil! I hope that didn't sound too desperate, but if it did, I hope you are on your way now!

In all seriousness, my Mom, and Phil's brother, Jim, need a break. Not that they don't love spending all of their time with Phil. They do, see that's just the problem! They all are exhausted, emotionally and physically. I know neither one of them will admit to this, whether it be the exhaustion or stubbornness, but they do need a break.

Phil should be moved down to the rehab unit tomorrow, if all goes as plans, insert God laughing here! My Mom has a magnet that says, "We plan, God laughs." I have zero clue where the rehab unit is at Strong Memorial, but I am sure some nice, old lady who works the front desk could give you some directions.

Talking and conversing is still very tiresome for Phil. So if you come and visit, plan on just sitting back and relaxing. No one wants to be alone, especially someone sitting in a hospital bed. So here is my request, please make some time for Phil. You all have told us how much he means to you, now is your chance to show him.

Like my Mom said earlier, please keep praying for Phil. He is a little down from all of the news he received today. God has a plan, that we are sure of, what the plan is, we are still waiting to see.

Monday Evening

Hi everyone,
Well it's Monday evening and just when we thought we knew the "plan", it changed (how true that is in life also) Phil's hemocrit (a blood measurement) should be 35 and his is 20 (which is down from 28 after surgery). He experienced some tachychardia and hytertension this weekend (which we just found out today no one has given him his blood pressure medication). That said, his trip to rehab has been postponed while he receives 2 units of blood. Good news is that the ultrasound for DVT showed all clear. The doctor did note a wheezing in his right lung that they will keep an eye on but given he's spent the past several days mostly in bed, he's in pretty good health. I would ask for prayers for his emotional health. I think it's all starting to settle in how much he's been through these past months. He's worn out and in need of some mental rest (in addition to physical). He's not had much luck sleeping at night (even with some medication) but does anyone ever get good sleep in a hospital with machines beeping, people talking (his roommate (young man, early 20's) had visitors until 4:00am and they were talking loud and using their phones - What's up with that?) Anyway, if you know my husband, he's generally a positive guy with a gung-ho attitude. Today, he was more down than I've seen and it's just the exhaustion of surgery and recovery. We would sure appreciate your thoughts and prayers and Phil continues recovery. Once he transfers over to the rehab unit, it looks like his stay will be 7-10 days, and then home. Well, better go, I'm posting from Phil's room and they've just arrived with the blood. I'll update everyone tomorrow. Beth

Some Pictures

Here are a couple of pictures that my Mom took with her cell phone. I tried to make them bigger, but then they looked distorted. The poor man is already bald, and swollen, I am not going to be the one who makes him look worse! Enjoy!This was Thursday morning...bright and chipper!

This was on Saturday. This was the walk my Mom posted about. I know they were able to go for another one on Sunday too.

I have not heard whether or not Phil is getting a blood transfusion. When I talked to him around 11:30am, my time, they were still waiting for the results. We will let you all know when we know! Thanks again for everything!

Monday Morning

Good morning,
Well, it's Monday morning and Phil is currently having an ultrasound on his leg (to check for DVT) and when he returns to his room, Dr. Phil gets to have his blood drawn. The doctor is still concerned about the blood loss and Phil's blood pressure has been running pretty high (even with medication). There's a slight chance they may still need to transfuse him today. Phil cannot be admitted to the rehab unit until the doctor signs off that he's medically fit (we're praying that the ultrasound and blood tests are simply a part of crossing the t's and dotting the i's). He had a pretty restful night. I'll give you an update as soon as we know more. Thank you again (and again) for all of you continued prayers. Beth

Sunday Evening

Hi Everyone,
It's Beth. I wanted to share that Phil had a great day! I saw him this morning and helped him with his morning routine (shaving, cleaning and brushing his teeth). I am in awe of his progress. Just four (4) days ago he was being admitted, had his skull drilled (and a portion removed), and a tumor completely obliterated (Thank you, Father). He did lose a lot of blood and it's taken several days for him to regain some strength. Today, we were able to take a walk (with the wheelchair) and we sat outside for about 30 min. Yesterday, we found that the breeze gave him a headache after about 15 min. but today, I set his chair at a different angle and he actual found the air to be comforting (if there had been a hammock, I think we both might have enjoyed a nap, it was one of those quiet summer days with a nice warm breeze). Anyway, it seems as if his appetite is returning. I am so thankful that Phil has such a positive attitude and that he is willing to work hard to regain the ability to move/work his left side. The doctor noted that while it's not major, his left arm does show some weakness in addition to his left leg and foot, of which, he is still unable to control. I know that this week will be quite challenging as the occupational and physical therapists continue to encourage Phil in strength exercises (as well as he will learn how to do all of those practical daily tasks which we tend to take for granted), plus let's not forget that Dr. Phil has a mind of his own and absolutely loves people. In other words, I think it won't be long before his team of therapists become his friends. He is open and friendly and such a good listener, perhaps the Lord allowed Phil to have his brain tumor in order to meet someone who needs to know the love of our Lord. We have already talked that God must have a plan for all of this and while we don't understand, we pray that it will become clear. On that note, I will sign off. I pray that this Lord's day has been one that gave you time alone with God. Be well my friends, Beth

Sunday Morning

Hi everyone,
It's Beth (again). To let you know that Kate and Molly arrived home safe and sound. Eric was happy to have them both back and Billy (the cat) was especially thrilled that Kate was home (he does like Molly but now that she can chase after him she's not so much fun). That's one family that has to be tired. Eric spent last week at church camp with a group of junior highers and Kate was here in NY with us, while Molly spent some time with Eric's parents in Ohio. Kate flew back to Ohio on Friday and then on Saturday morning proceeded to drive back to Milwaukee (Whew, and I thought my week was long). Anyway, they are back home and everyone is safe. I'm heading back up to spend the day with Phil and see how well he slept and maybe try our hand at another wheelchair ride (I think the RN's are a little more flexible on the weekends and visitor traffic is lighter). Better sign off now. I'll give you an update tonight when I am back at home. Have a blessed day! Beth

Saturday Evening

Hello everyone,
It's Beth and I wanted to report that once again Phil had a good day (keep 'em coming Lord) It's amazing how much it helps Phil to get cleaned up, put on some fresh clothes (even if it's pajamas), and take a walk (however short). Today, when I arrived my husband was waiting for me (because for some reason Steve, the RN, was no longer good enough to help him shave and bath) In any event, I assisted him in the morning rituals and helped him walk back to his chair. He sat up for quite awhile and then I asked if it was okay to put him in a wheelchair and take him for a walk. I think I was more excited than Phil. We went to the 1st floor (the neurology unit is on 5th floor) and I walked him outside and we enjoyed a nice warm breeze for app 15 min. It seemed like a miracle! I took him back to his room, helped him in bed and he promptly fell asleep for about an hour. His recuperation is still a marathon (not a sprint) but everyday it seems more and more possible that Dr. Phil will actually be back teaching in the fall. The doctor removed Phil's bandages and we've begun the tedious process of "cleaning" his head, not much fun (and trust me, I didn't go near any of the 65 staples). Anyway, like my mom always said "It's amazing what a little soap and hot water can do - she may have said elbow grease but it didn't seem appropriate in this case. Kate told Phil that he should keep the bald look and grow a beard but when he saw his reflection in the mirror, he was highly motivated to shave (and I think he felt better with a nice smooth face). He's getting there, day by day. He is so enjoying the cards and letters that people have sent (Note to self: always good to get mail when you are not feeling well) and we both appreciate your continued encouragement and prayers. Specifically, please pray for his time in the rehabilitation unit this week. We understand that he will be transferred on Monday for a 5-day in-patient stay. It will be a lot of work and I'm sure it will hold its share of challenges and frustrations. Phil will need lots of good thoughts and especially God's hand holding and guiding him. We are both humbled by all of you who have joined us on this walk towards healing. God has blessed us richly with friends and family. Thank you.

Friday Afternoon

Hello all,
This is Beth. Just a short update to say that Phil has taken 3 very short walks, put on clean pj's (real ones,not hospital issue), ate lunch, sat in a chair and is now sleeping soundly. Dr Phil is worn out but in a good way. The pain seems to be getting manageable, his appetite is returning and he's getting proficient with a walker. All good news. Please keep your prayers coming. The coming days and weeks will be filled with ups and downs but for today, it's a up day (Thank you Father)

2 Days After

We got here about 8 this morning. We are hoping to see the doctor before I have to leave for the airport. Phil informed us he had an awful night. They tried to get him up to go to the bathroom, and every time he would stand his heart rate would go sky high, and his head would bleed a lot. I know this scared Phil a lot. He is still so very weak from the blood loss, major surgery, and laying in bed for 2 days. It was so hard for him to move, let alone have blood dripping down his face and on the floor.

His pain seems more bearable today, or at least he is feeling the effects of the pain medications. So getting him up for a physical therapy assessment today is going to be quite a chore. He still can not feel anything in his left leg. It's like when your foot falls asleep and you can't move it. That is his whole left leg. Then his right leg is weak from not being used for a couple of days. They brought him a walker, so he will be using that to try and get around.

Phil still needs lots of prayers. I know everyone knows that, but I also know it's easy to think, "oh he made it through just fine." Which he did, and we are very grateful, but he also has a long road ahead of him.

Tonight or tomorrow he should be moved to a regular room. Once he is there he will have to move on his own, and start to take care of himself a little bit more. I know it is good for him, but it also is defeating for him too. He keeps saying, "I am only 52 years old, and my body is acting like I am 92." It is so hard for him to do simple things. We know it is just from the blood loss, and laying in bed. So we will keep praying for strength, encouragement, and quick healing.

Once the doctor comes, he will evaluate if Phil needs more staples. We will keep you posted. I am leaving today to fly back to Ohio. Then I am driving back to Wisconsin tomorrow with Molly. Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers!

Afternoon Update

Phil is still doing great. His sister, Susan, and his Mom are visiting him right now. He ate all of his lunch, and is keeping up with the pain meds.

His "headaches" fluctuate from a lot of pain, to tolerable pain. Other then that he is resting as much as he can. Tomorrow they will come and do a physical therapy assessment.

Nothing new, no changes, just wanted to update you all.

One Day After Surgery

Phil is still doing great today, one day after his surgery. His CAT scan looks good, and there is no major swelling to be concerned with. He is in a lot of pain, which is to be expected. His blood levels are getting higher which is good, as of now he does not need a blood transfusion. Phil is just trying to rest, and manage his pain.

Prayers are still needed! The first 24-48 hours are very critical. Brain swelling, seizures, blood clots, just to name a few, are things the doctors and nurses are watching for. He is very weak, and still has no feeling/movement in his left leg. The doctor knows this, and expected this. It will take a little bit to regain everything, especially since he lost a lot of blood during the surgery.

Phil was able to eat some breakfast this morning, which a good sign we are told. Today and tomorrow will be the most painful recovery days. His right eye is almost swollen shut, so by tomorrow it will be all the way swollen shut. We knew this ahead of time, but it is still hard to see him that way.

The last time Phil was in the hospital he was awake, alert, and talking the whole time. Now he is in and out of sleep, hooked up to a bunch of stuff, and talking is a task for him. So I think for my mom and I it is a little difficult to switch gears to this hospital stay. The good news is that Phil was supposed to be in the ICU after surgery, but he did so well they put him in the step down unit. He will be here another day or so, then they will put him in an actual room. Although he is cognitive, it is still so hard to see him in so much pain. The nurses are doing great, but it feels like they just don't move quick enough to help your loved one.

Sorry this is a long ramble, but here is where my thoughts are. Prayers are still needed, and will be needed for a long time. Phil just got some lunch, and we are going to help him eat it. He is super weak, but still here. God has blessed us so abundantly with Phil and his progress.

"Faithful, you are ever faithful..."

Much Love,
Kate

Thursday, Finally!

Good morning,
This is Beth. First and foremost, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all for your prayers. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. I saw Phil last night and he smiled and squeezed my hand. I was able to look in his eyes and we gave thanks that God brought him safely through surgery. It was hard to walk out of the hospital room and come home but I knew that he needed rest (and so did Kate and I). As long as we were in his room, he kept opening his eyes and trying to talk, so with reluctance, we drove home. We're getting ready to head back up and are looking forward to hearing how his night was and of the results of the CAT scan. Kate will update the blog as the day goes on. For now, I am grateful and humbled by all of your thoughts and prayers.

Great News

Phil came through with flying colors! We just got finished talking to the doctor, and he had great news for us!

*They got ALL, yes, ALL of the tumor! Better then they originally thought! No radiation is needed!
*The tumor was NOT cancer! It was benign, and did I mention, not cancerous!
*He was squeezing the doctors hand in the recovery room, and talking to the nurses.

Phil did loose a lot of blood during the surgery. The tumor was really bloody, sorry for the gross details, but they said when they would remove part of it or touch the veins surrounding it, blood would shoot up 7-8 inches in the air! Gross, yet a little cool at the same time. Phil totally would think that was cool. So he may need a blood transfusion.

We are also watching for brain swelling, and blood clots. They had to manipulate the brain a lot to remove the large tumor. So now we are watching and waiting for any sign that something is not right. Quite possibly, nothing will be wrong!

Phil's leg and foot are actually a lot weaker then normal. So we are praying he gets some, or any feeling/movement back. We will know more over the next couple of weeks. There are many reasons as to why this happened, but we will know more soon.

I think that is all the BIG news for now. Thank you all for your prayers, and encouraging thoughts! God is awesome, mighty and powerful! He showed us His glory with Phil today, and we feel so blessed!! Right now Phil is in recovery for another hour, then he is getting a CAT scan to see how his brain is doing. I will keep you all updated!

Out of Surgery

We just got word from the receptionist in the waiting room that Phil is out of surgery! This is a lot earlier then we all expected! We are now waiting for the doctor to come talk to us. I will let you know what Dr. Pilcher has to say! Pray for Phil in recovery...he is going to be very uncomfortable, and they said he is going to have the worst headache he has ever had! More news to come!

Noon Update

We talked to the nurse practitioner that works with Phil's neurosurgeon. She talked to the doctor personally, and he said it is very slow going. The tumor is wrapped up in a lot of veins, and it is very bloody. They will work at one part of the tumor, then stop and wait for the bleeding to stop, then start again. So it is going to take a while to remove what they can. They are thinking it will at least be 4 or 5pm tonight when they will be finished. Phil is doing great so far, and has remained stable through the whole thing.

Keep praying for wisdom for the doctors and nurses in there with Phil, and for endurance!

11am Update

The nurse just called and said so far, so good. Phil is stable and doing well. The doctor said he had a lot of work to do, but that's not a surprise. So we will let you know when we know something!

Bald and Beautiful

Ever wonder what Phil would look like bald? Wonder no longer friends...the new Phil...


This looks like a mug shot, or America's Most Wanted. But it is our Phil!

Happy Surgery Day! Phil is now back getting prepped and knocked out for surgery. We left for the hospital around 5'ish this morning, and everyone was in good spirits. We heard Aaron Shust on the radio this morning, and he is one of Phil's favorite singers. So that brightened his spirits. Here we are this morning in our Beatles t-shirts! I surprised Phil by getting one, and my mom bought him a new one to wear today! Say...Ringo, John, Paul, George!



My Mom just got off the phone with the doctor...Phil just went into surgery 10 minutes ago, and he is doing fine. They will call us in 2 hours for another update. Last night I shot a video of Phil, and I am having trouble uploading it. I will keep trying, and hopefully blogger will work out their problems. Keep checking back for more updates!

Thank you

This will be very short. I thank you for all your prayers and support. I know that I am in good hands both of surgeon and God. Well it is 3:50 am and in 1 hour 20 minutes were are off to see the wizard. No my religion has not changed but those who know me well know my humor is by far not the best. Many have asked if I am nervous and no I am not, good or bad, no. One of the things most on my mind is 'help' and not mine but others. I love to serve, see a student's face suddenly react with knowledge, understanding, application of what they learned. To see someone is session say 'I am worth it' and going to change. As for memory, I have usually I will push 95% be able to tell you year, song, title, group and words to a song coming from the late 50's to the late 70's. Course as I would also tell people that knowledge and a quarter might get you a phone call. LOL! My real nervousness is being able to serve and help more people in crisis, victim's of violence, the courts and parent programs, helping people. As songs go mine going to Strong is "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours" . I am amazed at the outpouring of love, support and prayer. It is truly amazing what God is able to do in someone's life if we stay out of His way.. I by no means am saying I always stay out of his way. It would be better but sometimes I hinder Him just a bit, good He is still able to get around me. Love you and thank you.

Tuesday Prayer Requests

Good morning friends,
I can tell that the anticipation of tomorrow's surgery is beginning to wear on my heart and my head (which is probably why I was wide awake at 3:00am this morning - it's going to be a very long day) To let all of you know, Phil had another seizure yesterday afternoon. His son, Tim, was "dad-sitting" and was great. He remained calm, got his dad the required medication, made sure he was on his side, and called me when it was all over. It was a mild seizure, for that we give thanks but, like previous seizures, it zapped him of his energy and left his leg paralyzed. He was able to get some sleep last night however upon waking this morning he is still lacking in strength and energy. His leg has begun to recover app. 20% (try moving around without being able to life a leg or turn a foot) Quite honestly, I think fatigue is setting in and he's weary of the daily struggle. That said, I would ask for your prayers. Specifically, for today, pray that God continues to surround Phil with His love, pray that fear isn't allowed to take hold in his heart and pray that Phil's spirits are lifted and the day passes without another seizure. Kate arrives this morning (Thank you Lord!) and I must admit that I'm dreaming of a nap today (in my family it's called Mom's upstairs "reading") but in any event, thank you to everyone for your continued thoughts and prayers. Phil said to mention that he hopes to provide an update of his own later today so stay tuned....

Monday

Hello All:
Phil is resting and I thought I'd take some time to update the blog. It's odd too think that in just 48 hours the surgery will be over (we hope) and Phil will be on the road to recovery. Odd yes, scary definitely, but in some ways it's how we live each and every day. No one knows from one day to the next what lies around the bend. Most of us wake up in the morning already having a "To Do" list. I guess the blessing for us is that we have a "Wednesday" We know that because of one day this week, our whole life seems a little more precious. We know that our "Wednesday" has caused us to step back, take a breath and consider what is important. We don't walk lightly down this path but we are confident. It's been a confirmation for each of us to find that there's not a lot of "filler" in our lives. We have tried, and will continue, to fill our life with friends, family and of course, the most important grandchild, Molly! We are sure that Phil will pass this test with flying colors. So, for us, our "Wednesday" has given us pause upon our life, our "Wednesday" is a starting gate. Phil and I are thankful that we have been given a "Wednesday" to remind us of what's most important. While I would not wish this experience for anyone, I do pray that you each are given your very own "Wednesday" and that you receive it as an opportunity to begin again.

Sunday Evening

Hello everyone,
Well, it's Sunday evening and we're settling in for the night (okay it's only 7:00pm we're not quite that old). Phil was able to go to church last night and that in itself was a blessing. To stand with others and sing praises to our Lord, what a gift! We know that there are believers in parts of the world who worship in secret for fear of their lives. How often we take for granted these freedoms in America, but I digress... I talked to Kate earlier today and she and Molly were almost to Ohio. Molly was quite the trooper although it was her mom who needed to take a break from the Veggietales CD (hmm, I seem to remember listening to Wee Sing Songs over and over again on trips with Kate) Sorry for the chit chat, I think it's hard to concentrate on the reality of this week. A part of me wants to focus on Thursday of this week, not Wednesday, I figure God has that day covered and I'll let Him have a day off while I take over. Although my heart knows He controls everyday, my mind wants to have control over something. To be honest, I know that whatever happens this week will change our lives forever. From Wednesday forward, we will measure our life in terms of "before the surgery" and "after the surgery" That's not a bad thing, just the way it will be. I've walked this road before. I've had some experiences in my lifetime that could be considered hard by some and so has Phil. We know we can do hard, we may not like it, but we know we can do it. It doesn't mean we're not up to the task, quite the opposite. If this is God's calling for us, we accept it willingly. Our acceptance is possible because we know without a doubt that He holds the key to our future. I have to confess that it's scary and it won't be easy but maybe all the preparation from our life experiences has brought us to this point, maybe, just maybe, we were created for such a time as this. Phil has a favorite saying from John Lennon "You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..." Our prayer is that we continue to rest in the peace of God and that in this peace, we may be given a glimpse of His love.

5 Days and Counting

All:
We thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. It's countdown time to surgery and we've noticed our emotions are close to the surface as the reality sinks. We're trying to stay focused that this process is much like a marathon race (not a sprint) and Wednesday's surgery is only the starting gate. Phil's recovery and rehabilitation will take time. It may take many months and lots of patience. Right now as we begin the walk towards Wednesday, we'd like to ask you to specifically (1) pray for the neurosurgeon and his staff that they may have the knowledge, experience and stamina necessary for a successful result, (2) pray for Phil, that he may continue to have peace and confidence, (3) pray for our family that they will have people in each of their lives to encourage, to listen, and to support. God tells us to bring the desires of our heart to Him and our utmost desire is no matter how long the journey, that He would be glorified through all of it. We pray that God's light shines and that He will use Phil's life as a witness and a testimony to bring other's closer. I'm not saying we understand it, but without a doubt, we believe!

On a final note: Phil's energy level remains low and we would request that phone calls and/or visits are kept short and simple. It's surprising how tiring it can be even if he's just sitting on the couch carrying on a conversation, and the doctor reminded us that Phil needs to be in top form for his surgery (emotional, mental and physical). Thanks!

July 17

Hello Friends...

Here is a little update as to what is going on. Phil is doing great Spiritually, but still needs lots of prayers! Here is so very tired and exhausted from all of the medications. So if you call him, he is doing his best to call you back. But please know, he might not get back to you. Trust me, it is not because he does not want to, he just has little to no energy right now.

Karissa left yesterday to head back to Tennessee. They had a great visit, but seeing that the surgery is not until next Wednesday, there really wasn't a whole lot for her to do there. But I know Phil was so thankful for the time he spent with her.

My mom went back to work on Wednesday. I am not sure what her plan is for next week. Maybe work Monday, half day Tuesday, not sure yet. Please keep praying for my mom. She needs lots of strength and encouragement.

I am flying to New York on Tuesday morning. Molly will be spending all next week with her grandparents in Ohio. So I will be driving there on Sunday, and flying out Tuesday morning. I know she will have a great time tiring my in-laws out!

Thank you all again for the prayers and encouraging words. We covet the time you spend thinking, praying and lifting up our family. I am will update the day of the surgery and the days after. Thanks again!

Wednesday Update

Hello all. As you can see Phil posted his surgery date. It will be next Wednesday, July 22nd, beginning at 7:15 am. As you can imagine, it will be a very long day. The doctor told us it will take them an hour to prepare Phil for surgery (all the iv's, shaving his head, catheter (ouch!) and misc. "stuff"), then it will take an additional hour and a half just to open his head (we've always said he is hard headed), it will take an hour and a half to close his head when they are finished, so if anyone's counting we've already used 4 hours and they haven't done anything related to the tumor. We have been told it is a long surgery (6-8 hours). I'm thinking that Kate will have the computer with her at the hospital and will post periodic updates throughout the day but know it could be late afternoon or early evening before we get the word that surgery was a success and that Dr Phil is ready to begin healing (of course the nursing staff will find out in short order that our Phil is stubborn and determined) It has been difficult for him these past few days to return telephone calls or have visitors. It's physically draining at times to keep up a conversation or even to stay awake. His headaches are still frequent and his energy levels go up and down. Phil has found that if you call his cell phone and leave a message, it's easier to return the call when he has some energy. We appreciate everyone's understanding and patience and are very thankful for this blog as a way to post updates.

SURGERY

The hospital just called and the surgery will be July 22nd. I realize this is short and to the point, I apoloigze for that.

Hello all

I just wanted to update those from me as I am feeling good right now. I really wish I could give 'everyone' news on times, dates, surgery and all. It is difficult on all to wait, I know and I assure you all with the blog, Beth, Kate, Karissa and all that once we have the information it will go out asap. I am in the firm belief that God is in control of everything that is going on and that will not change. I am finding strength in Him and He continues to strengthen me. Please I ask pray for those around me, tending and taking care of me. I can do so little for you and you are doing so much for me. As the scriptures tell us if God is for us who can be against us? Easy answer 'no one'. Everything from God is a Blessing plain and simple, what a blessing to have people pray, love and care for me. The upped medications seemed to be working, though I will tell you I am easily drained of energy and just like to lie quiet and rest. I am still learning this new life of rest.... letting go...... not easy but I am trying. I do wish I had more energy to talk via phone and it should be easy but is difficult for me. Again I just ask when we hear anything the news will go out. Till then be good and God Bless you. HE IS SO GREAT AND AWESOME!

And still we wait...

Hello everyone. This is Beth and I admit it's my first time writing on a blog of any type. We spoke with the doctor's office this morning and it looks like surgery will be Monday, July 20th (with a very slight chance it will be pushed back to Wednesday, July 22nd). Our first response was why? Our neurologist told us 2 weeks ago that we were to drive straight to the hospital and prepare for surgery that day! What permits them to wait? (and why does waiting seem like we're doing nothing!) What we have come to know is that the neurologist's main job is to diagnose and either treat or refer. The neurosurgeon's function is to review the tests and determine what needs to be done and how to do it in a safe manner. The steroids Phil was given needed 5 days minimum to begin to work and 10 days was even better. We know that he is at greater risk for a blood clot and the heparin shots I give him 2x a day (yes, I try to keep my eyes open while inserting the needle) are needed to prevent that from happening. Phil's seizure on Saturday told the doctors that the swelling in his head was still present. Since then, they have tripled his dosage of steroids, doubled his dosage of anti-seizure medication and reminded him of how important it is to rest and gain strength. We know that the angioplasty procedure is not possible due to the many blood vessels intertwined throughout the tumor. All that to say we don't know why God has allowed us to wait when all we want is for the surgery to be over and begin healing but we do believe that He is in control and if waiting is part of His plan, then we will wait and trust. There is no panic in heaven over Phil's health, the future is already known. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

No News

At this point we will have to wait to know the day of surgery until tomorrow. The doctor is waiting to hear back on available operating rooms and didn't hear back by the time his office closed today and we were told we should know tomorrow, hopefully in the morning. As soon as we know we will be sure to post it. For now we just ask that you keep the prayers going :-)

Update...or lack thereof

Since we know everyone is waiting to find out when the surgery would be we wanted to do a quick post to let you know that we are still waiting to hear at this point. Dr. Pilcher has been in surgery all day and will be calling us once he is out to let us know what he knows. When we hear when the surgery is we will update the blog to let you know.

Also, dad requested I mention that he will be limiting his phone calls at this point. It is nothing personal but he is trying to focus on relaxing as much as possible so he may not answer if you call. I will make sure to update the blog at least daily, more if we have news or updates.

Countdown

This is Karissa again. Today was a welcome uneventful day. He didn't sleep much if at all last night so his energy level was low all day but there were no seizures so we are all thankful. Both of my brothers stopped by today to visit and it was a relaxing and enjoyable afternoon. Tomorrow we should hear from the doctor to hopefully confirm that the surgery will be Wednesday. At this point we are all eager to get past the surgery and start the recovery process, especially my dad. He has been suffering with this for so long, long before we had any clue as to what was really happening and now that we are so close to fixing it and working to get back to "normal" it is hard to have patience. Daily we are all reminded that control is an illusion. Daily we are reminded that we all have to ask for help at times. Daily we are reminded how we take so many simple things for granted and how easily they can be taken away. This overall experience has truly been humbling and I couldn't be more proud of my dad. Daily he shows courage, inner strength, determination and above all, his unwavering faith in God. He is an inspiration and a walking testament to how, though often mysterious to us, God works in our lives to help us learn and grow closer to Him.

I will update tomorrow with news from the doctor and continue to do so while I am in town. In the meantime please keep him in your prayers but take comfort as I do in the knowledge that God is carrying my dad and will never fail to do so.

Faith Unshaken

Hi, this is Karissa. I arrived safely from Tennessee last night. Today ended up being a rough day for my dad. The morning went fine with a visit from my brother Tim. Later, we went to lunch as planned with Beth, my Uncle Jim and Aunt Karin. Just as we finished eating my dad felt a seizure coming on. Beth quickly gave him an anti-seizure pill but unfortunately that didn't prevent it. My Uncle Jim carried my father out of the restaurant, while still in his chair, with the help of a good samritan at the table next to us. They got him outside and onto his side as the doctor had instructed and waited. The seizure only lasted around 5 minutes which is far shorter then they were before the medication and affected his left leg but not so much his left arm this time. The EMT's checked him out and my Uncle Jim drove us home. We spoke to the on-call doctor who doubled the dosage of the steroids he is on and advised us that if he has another seizure or the headache he has now gets worse tonight or is still there tomorrow, we are to take him straight to the emergency room.

Despite all of this, my father's faith and trust in God remains strong and firm. I want to thank Pastor Larry and Uncle Jim for coming out later tonight to give Dad and Beth communion, it meant alot to both of them. Unfortunately, due to the hectic situation and fear at the restaurant, we didn't get the names of the people at the restaurant who helped us but I thank God for each of them. They were all so kind, compassionate, understanding and helpful and I truly appreciate their help. Lastly, I ask everyone who reads the blog to keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers and follow my father's example. He said that God has a plan even if we don't know what it is. God is at his side and will never leave him. While it may feel like God gives us more then we can handle, Pastor Larry said it best tonight when he said that God never gives us more then HE can handle.

Brain Photos

Upon Phil's request, here are his brain scans. The doctor has things circled and written out, sorry I could not make those bigger. But the large mass you see in all the pics is Phil's tumor.

This last one just looks scary and distorted, but that's our Phil! As of Friday night, 8:30pm Central time, we still do not have a surgery date. The doctor will call Monday morning with one. We will keep you all posted!

Friday update, doctor visit

Well lots of news to share. They say the tumor is too enmeshed in the veins to do the insert so doing it will not be best so we will be going without. Not to worry though as the entire medical staff has it all under fantastic control and planned out to perfection. They talked to me extensively [and the wife] as to my recovery and process. They checked my meds and because I told them my headaches were increasing they upped some of my med for my comfort. The staff showed me the 'tumor' and I sent the slide to Kate to post if she and I know she can figure it out, as it is beyond my abilities. I can tell you I do not like tiring out so easily, I feel like a real burden, being use to working 16 to 18 hours a day and now having energy for four hours is HARD. Having people take care of me is hard, but I am learning. I am also learning a new appreciation for the brain and psychology. It is amazing how one can teach, learn, help others in these areas and when personally impacted with it gain such a learning. I will now have even more personal experience to share with future clients and students as I go forward. I do want to ask you all to keep Beth in prayer as I am a real pain to her and I know though I try not to be. She is so understanding, giving, compassionate and loving I am truly Blessed. Think about it last year my brother and I drove NASCAR cars around the track at Daytona Florida with an avg speed of 150 mph, so sitting beside Beth as she drives the expressway is a new experience and let me tell you it is 'far from a Petty experience'. All of you are doing so much and I feel the prayers knowing God is in complete control and when He is with no one can be against us. I am enjoying the sunshine He blessed us with today and time with Beth. She is cleaning right now as Karissa is on her way in from Tennessee, it will be nice to see her. Thank you all so much again....

Doctor's Appointment

"Dear brothers and sisters,when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:2-6 NLT

Tomorrow is one of the BIG days ahead. My Mom and Phil are meeting with Dr. Pilcher, the neurosurgeon that will be performing the surgery. They will discuss Phil's progress, the brain swelling, and some other details about the surgery and recovery. Please pray for a great outcome from this meeting. Please pray that the Lord will give the doctor all the wisdom he needs, and then some. Please pray that Phil is encouraged, and he has made progress with all of the medications.

Remember when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. Come grow with us...

While I Wait

I just wanted to share with you some scripture that God placed on my heart today, and this song.

"For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation." Psalm 100:5

I know a lot of people are asking themselves, why Phil, why him. He is a good person, why do bad things happen to good people? Where is God?

Well, God is right here, he is with you and with Phil. I know we all are praying and hoping for the same thing, whether you consider yourself religious or not. God will do what is best in His plan for Phil's life.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Just remember God is always good, He is always faithful, always loving, and always with you.

This song that I want to share with you comes from the movie Fireproof. I know Phil loves that movie, and although the main theme is about Fireproofing your marriage, I think the song can be interpreted in more than just marriage. It talks about serving and worshiping while you are waiting on God. This is not just a nice suggestion, it is a command straight from God. So whether you are waiting for a life altering thing to happen, like Phil, or you are wondering which direction to go in next for your life, remember still serve and worship God.

Tuesday July 7, 2009

Today was very tiring, I tried some physical therapy with doctor's approval. The pt went well, tiring but well. I saw some clients today to clear the next few weeks. It was a lot more draining than I thought it would be. Beth is very supportive and watchful over me doing a fantastic job. I feel the prayers and cares of those reaching out. My Faith is strong and as Aaron Shust says ' My God is He, He was and ALWAYS will be', All He has is Blessings for me in this life going forward and I am so grateful to all..... I want to thank Kate for the Aaron Shust song posted for me as it speaks so strong to me and for me. That God loves me so much to do what He did and had my life in His control no matter what, what PEACE I have that no one can take from me as I am in God's hand! PRAISE HIM!

This One's For Phil

**Make sure you mute the music all the way at the bottom of the page**

Some New Stuff

Hey Friends,

This is Kate...I just wanted to let you know that I put up some helpful sites to check out to learn more about what Phil is dealing with. Just click on which ever site you would like to visit, and the blog should take you right there.

And yes, that was music on your computer when you clicked on here. I added some tunes down at the bottom. If you don't like them, just turn your volume off or mute while reading the blog.

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday. I talked to my Mom this morning, her and Phil seem to be doing well. I think they were just resting all day.

Thank you again for your continuous prayers and support!

-Kate

Saturday

Kate flew home today which I am sure little Molly will be thrilled to see her again. Kudos's to Eric for also taking over both duties in short notice. I think the meds are taking their toll on me as I am really low on energy and that is not Phil. I am trying to learn how to ask for help yet I also need to take care of Phil which means not getting busy. I would love to talk to all, see all and visit but for some reason it is so draining. MY FAITH is strong and how I would love to worship this weekend but with my immune system suppressed and I have to be as healthy as possible I have to take care first. Thus I will miss church this weekend. All are being so wonderful and helpful and I thank you all. I have no idea how Beth is doing what she does keeping my meds straight and the shots. She is becoming a real pro at this, of course the shots increase from two to three a day in a couple of days so lucky. I am so grateful for Strong Hospital and all the fantastic care they are giving me and have given. Now I need to rest, take care, follow doctor's orders to the letter and get a good review Friday for surgery. Thank you all for your care, thoughts and prayers. I wanted to add and say Thank you to Kate for coming so far, leaving her little one and husband behind to assist. Kate was a real trooper assisting Beth and watching me like a hawk. I know at times I was a pain not wanting to give in, but Kate let me get away with 'nothing' and I mean nothing. She made sure I towed the line and I want her to know I listened and I will. Thanks to Jim, my brother for mowing my lawn for me, it is hard to accept help for tasks I should be able to do on my own. Again thanks to all as this has happened in such a rush to me I still haven't taken in all in.
Phil

July 3 Friday

Well Beth did great with my shots, a real trooper she is. I was exhausted when I got home and rested well. I have so many medications to take they got a container for morning and afternoon slots. I see the doctor next Friday for surgery date. I think my biggest problem is not having the freedom to just have the ability to get up and leave to go somewhere. Being dependent is a weakness I have. I did have a very restless night last night. I slept from about 3 am to 6 am. The doctors wanted me to try Ambien to help me to sleep. They said it would be about 30 minutes and off I would be. well after four hours I thought it wasn't going to work so I watched the Matrix two times, can you tell I like the movie? I am feeling quite up though, wondering how much of my life has changed so dramatically. Teaching, Court work, teaching divorcing parents, doing Divorce Recovery Support Group, helping clients in my private practice and now all that changes. But God is Good and He will put together a plan as He always does as long as I stay out of his way. I do want to say to all that I thank you for your concern. Kate has been such a strength to me through this. She has supervised Beth when Beth needed help [sometimes when she didn't realize it] to see me through. Kate watches me like a hawk too, I can do nothing without her stepping in and taking over so I do not over do it. With all I do the doctor told me of up most importance is "no stress" in my life. Beth giving me my two shots a day does wonderful job at it. I won't say I am not worried as I am concerned. I always knew one day I would go bald but I guess I get a head start to see it. Life is good, I have those who love me near by. Family is very supportive as are friends. I will keep this updated. Today's agenda is lunch with Kate, see a client, get my hair washed and cut then home and see my son for a visit which is exciting for me. That is enough for me for the day. Funny how life can change your outlook so quickly.

Home!

Today Phil was released from the hospital. Hooray! We came and home and he has pretty much been asleep since. He deserves some good rest, and some relaxation.

Next week will be hard, with not being able to drive, independence is slowly being taken away from him. I know it is a hard thing to swallow for him. He already set-up his physical therapy appointments. So he is excited to get out of the house there. Phil is not house bound, he is just not to be left alone.

On Friday, July 10, when he sees his neurosurgeon, Dr. Pilcher, they will test his abilities on his left side. This will tell them if the swelling in the brain has gone down. I am not sure all of the details of the tests, but I trust the doctor. So here is how it could go, there are 2 ways...

A-The swelling will be down, Phil will be admitted into the hospital on Tuesday, July 14. They will perform an angioplasty and block the blood flow to the vein the tumor is sitting on. Then on Wednesday, July 15, Phil will have brain surgery.

B-The swelling will not have gone down, they admit him to the hospital either Monday or Tuesday, and do the surgery then.

I guess the only difference is if they do the block or not. So we are pretty optimistic that the swelling will go down, and the block will be performed. If he does not have the angioplasty, there will still be a risk of stroke. The swelling and blood do not make a great combination.

So this week Phil needs low to no stress, be around only healthy people, and take an easy! This week is still wait and see, then we will know more on Friday, July 10.

Please stop by if you are in the area or send an encouraging note to him!

July 2 Thursday

I had a restful night in between the shots every few hours. I still cannot walk or balance as well as I could previously but I will continue to push forward to do so. Hopefully they let me go home today! They told me I can continue my physical therapy hurah! I will no longer drive for at least 6 months making it January of 2010! my poor 88 Trans AM is feeling neglected. I have too much going for me to get better for. Great friends. I am hoping to return to teaching in September. I will be on 24 hour watch til July 10. Funny how quickly life can change. I will share more later as will Kate. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.

Wednesday Night

Mom and I are getting ready to head home for the evening. Phil got another MRI and they seemed to think it worked. They did a mapping MRI to be able to use a 3D scan on his face for surgery. So it is really important this is accurate!

The plan still is for Phil to go home tomorrow and see the doctor on Friday, July 10. Please pray the steroids work and the swelling comes down. If not, he will still be at rick for stroking out on the operating table. His tumor is 4cm in size, a "regular" size for a tumor is 1/2cm-1cm. So his is huge, and creating a lot of pressure and swelling on top of his brain.

Although he seems "fine" right now, he is just sitting in the bed, talking, laughing, and joking with the nurses. It will hit us, all of us when he gets home, and reality sets in. Next week is going to be long and hard. Phil's independence is being taken away, and the poor guy is only 52! He can't drive for a long time, maybe a year, or longer, he can not be by himself at all. Like at all, if he has another seizure, he could die. Reality is hard to grasp right now. I think we all are in denial.

I am going home on Saturday and flying back for the surgery. Eric is doing great with Molly. She is giving him no problems, he said she was excellent. She actually talked to me on the phone tonight. Aww, I miss her. But I am needed here, and glad to be here. Until tomorrow morning, blessings to you all. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement!

-Kate

Wednesday Afternoon

Doctor Pilcher came and spoke with us today about scheduling Phil's surgery. He would like to see Phil get fitted for a brace for his left foot, continue with the steroids, anti seizure medication, and send him home tomorrow. He is also going to start blood thinners. My mom gets to give him two shots in the belly everyday!

They are going to give him another MRI today because the one they did last night is not usable for surgery. There was some movement, so they were unable to get a clear picture of the brain. Phil is going in this afternoon for another, shorter version of the MRI.

We talked about surgery and what to expect. They said it could last a long time. They weren't specific as to how many hours we are talking about, but they said it takes an hour and a half to open his head, and an hour and a half to close him back up. He will have about 60 staples in his head. So not knowing how long the wait is going to be is a little hard. But we will make it.

Then the doctor said they are going to take as much of the tumor as possible without destroying any of the blood vessels and arteries. So after the surgery he will probably have radiation surgery to kill the rest of the tumor.

So as of now, we are going to go home tomorrow, and see the doctor in one week, probably July 10, then schedule the surgery for the week of July 13. So hopefully the next couple of days and weeks go fast.

Welcome

Hello! Welcome to Phil's blog! We started this blog to keep all of our friends and family up to date on Phil's current progress and upcoming progress.

Yesterday, Phil was diagnosed with a parasagittal meningioma brain tumor. He had been experiencing many symptoms for a while now, and he finally found a good doctor who listened to him. They ran a bunch of tests and found this tumor. They immediatly sent him to the hospital for emergency brain surgery, but when they got here they found that his brain is too swollen to do the surgery without a risk of stroke or worse.

They started Phil on steroids and some anti seizure medicines. He is in the neurology ICU, but he is doing great, and is in good spirits. We should know more today about when the surgery will be. The steroids will take about 5 days to work. Then after that they will still work, but the progress will be minimal to none. So we are optimistic it will be 5 days until the surgery. I don't think we are anticipating it to be earlier, but we will keep you all posted on that too.

We are waiting for the doctor to come in and see about doing an angioplasty and look for blood clots. Phil has not been able to move or feel his left leg for about a year now. So blood clots are a serious factor right, but they don't see any right now.

Thanks for checking Phil's blog! I (Kate) or Phil will be updating it daily. You don't have to have a blog to leave a comment, just create a profile. You just need an email and create a password. Thank you all for your prayers and encouraging words! God is in control, no matter what the outcome.

Kate