Sunday August 30

Well today was fairly productive, closed the pool [which was never used] and put the battery to my Trans Am out [which was never used]. Has a common theme of not being used. I really hope I get to drive the car next year for enjoyment. Actually the oldest Tim came over and he with his future bride, Kristen, helped me close the pool up and pulled the battery out of the car. I am watching my limitations. What is really difficult is that as helpful as people were I can tell some are growing weary of assisting me. My problem is that I still cannot drive and need help in certain areas and those close to me are becoming frustrated at my asking. In someways this gives me a desire to improve myself and strength so I do not rely upon others. I am also experiencing these headaches which are a pain to work with as I do not want to take the vicodin though I may give in. I am not meaning to complain, as I am doing good and Blessed to be where I am. Again thank you all for your thoughts and concerns. Blessings.

Friday August 28th

This is a picture of me upon arrival home with little Bambi. Well today was yet another day of pt for me. For some this reporting pt a lot is in some ways boring but let me assure you that being an active participant in the pt is in no way boring. What they are doing now is having me do exercises that I can do at home on my own to strengthen the leg up. Next week I have pt for three days and then I cut down to two days a week pt as I begin teaching for the fall semester at college. Somewhere I hope to work in come clients there too. Today once again I had it reinforced to me that I need to be careful. I was draining the pool so I can close it, well actually I have some to help me close it. Anyway I forgot the pool was draining and after a lengthy period of time I remembered and in a hurried fashion went out to stop it draining. Well in my haste I lost balance and fell hitting my head and back against the wall. Another reminder to take it slow and not push myself. I am not the person I was two months ago, as Beth tells me. I hope to rest this weekend and do my exercises to strengthen as much as I can. Thank you all for the prayers and support as I am and will be on the mend for sometime.

Wednesday August 26th

Well I thought I would share a picture of me shortly after my surgery. Because the surgery was on the right side of my brain that is the side of my face that was swollen up as you can see. Believe it or not people who would visit me would tell me "Boy you look good" to which I replied, "you lie well". I think most would agree I look anything but good. LOL! Beth took the pictures to show my progress. As of today we have decided to switch doctors for my brace. Tomorrow I visit my offices at the college campus to prepare for my classes. Beth is concerned that I will take on too much with teaching and clients. When we saw the surgeon we shared how I am having headaches and they told us that I should expect them for at least four to six months. The last two nights have been real bad and I am trying to avoid taking the vicodin for relief. PT went well today as I was able to show the therapist that there is some muscle movement in my left toes [though the toes do not move]. She swears she sees something of muscle response so I trust she does. It just feels so weird to be telling a part of my body to move and nothing happens. Kind of like a child ignoring a parent.

The Lighter Side

With all the serious sides to my experience I thought in this update I would update my latest and share some of the funny moments if possible. Beth was asking me if I have ever shared about one of my episodes, seizures I had. She was referring specifically back on the Mother's Day week. I surprised Beth by having Molly and Kate fly out for Mother's Day. Anyway during their visit I happen to come downstairs as I couldn't fall asleep one night. While in the family room I fell asleep on the couch and was awoken by a seizure. Unable to go anywhere I rolled off the couch onto the floor. During the seizure I called out for Beth to help me as much and often as I could. When all was done I was exhausted as was the normal case after a seizure so I made my way upstairs and just fell asleep til morning. In the morning I was explaining to Kate and Beth what had happened and if they heard anything, Beth said she heard nothing. Kate told me she did wake up hearing "something" like maybe a burglar but then heard nothing and fell back asleep. Not to worry my little kitty Bambi stayed right with me the whole time. Good thing I was not a burglar or I could have stolen the house. LOL! To continue on, my PT went well today and I did my exercises with some improvement. Also our visit to Findlay was fantastic, having little Molly for a few afternoons. Being one of my inspirations to carry on through the surgery and recovery process. We also decided to change who will be doing my brace up as my PT people think it should be jointed as do Beth and I. So things are going well, as even my anti-seizure medication has been reduced. Praise God.

Saturday morning August 22

W ell Beth and I made it to Findlay for Molly's second birthday. Before we left we saw the surgeon and got a nice review. I shared about the headaches I get and was told that they are normal to have for up to six months after the surgery. Other than that Dr Pilcher was pleased with my progress and said things are going forward. They are going to schedule an MRI for me to make sure there is no more tumor. After the appointment we left for Ohio. It has been a great visit to see little Molly with her natural curls, running here and there. Her smile is worth a million. Today we have her party to attend so that will be nice to see everyone. I try to do my exercises as much as possible, as they cast my brace this Tuesday. The doctor said I cannot have a jointed one because she feels my left hip is still too weak. No problem there, we still are going forward.

Wednesday August 19th

Well today was a full day and tiring as we prep to head to Ohio tomorrow for our granddaughter's second birthday! She is one of the inspirations that I focused on to go through this whole thing. She is such a cutie! Anyway physical therapy was very tiring again, they are really challenging me which is good. They are doing my schedule every other day next week which will be nice instead of three days in a row. I went for my brace today and the doctor was not sure why we were there. Talk about confusing. Anyway things got straightened out and they were doing a review of my foot before they cast it for a brace. So now Beth and I understand what was going on. I get fitted next week and the brace will be ready two weeks after that. The doctor did not agree with my physical therapist as to the type of brace. My therapist wanted it to be jointed at the ankle but the doctor said she does not want it jointed but a solid piece and joint it later. She said my ankle and foot is not strong enough for the support. So that being said my progress forward may be a foot at a time or an inch at a time but none the less it is 'forward' and that is what counts. I do know that my game plan is to hold little Molly in my arms and be able to 'fly' her through the air again and see that big smile on her face enjoying it. I also am realizing I need rides as my appointments are scattered making it difficult on Beth to take me. Hard for me to call and ask but like Kate said it is a new normal and I am learning and as I tell my students learning is a process. So tomorrow we see the neuro surgeon who God used to remove my tumor for a check up and then off to Ohio.

August 18

Today I had my physical therapy again. She [Kelly] did a lot of work on exercises with me and checking my ability to move mostly for my brace. I go tomorrow to get cast for my brace. Good news is that Kelly says I have shown enough improvement to get a brace that will have flexibility built into it. When Kelly was doing the exercises with me she asked me to do things like bend my leg at the knee while laying on my stomach toward my back. I couldn't move it at all, nor could I move my left foot to the left or right. I will admit it felt really defeating to think I could not do something so simple that I was able to do with ease only a few months ago. I have faith though that thru effort and prayers I will regain the use of my left leg. It just helps me to realize the road to recovery is going to take awhile. I need to be patient and diligent in my efforts. All in all though I am still making steps forward, maybe small ones sometimes but still they are forward and that is what makes the difference.

August 17th

Well today was a busy day and real test for me. I had my physical therapy this morning and once again they worked me real hard. Kind of like take no prisoners. Good piece is that they are teaching me techniques to re-teach my brain to communicate to the leg. It really is interesting to see and I trust them so I am listening. I am supposed to try and kick my left leg out as far as I can when I walk, this will help me regain control of it. They also had me try to control where the left foot was placed which one might think is an easy task but not for me. It kind of hovers when I try to put it down. I also actually put the shower head toward my head and put water on it. I know it sounds simple but it was scary for me, as I am very protective of that area. In therapy they had me try to pick my left foot up and put it in a specific spot I pick and then move it back to where I had it originally, exactly. Well after about three tries you could see my foot shutter. The therapist was saying that is the muscle coming alive. She also asked me to try and stand on my left leg and pick my right leg up. No way. I was able to stand on the tip toes of my right foot but that was all for now. I have more work to do. It was nice as I saw some clients and did a presentation in the evening that was scheduled last June when I had my worse seizure that was almost a stroke. It is nice to get back to life, but I will do it slowly.

Saturday August 15th

Well it is Saturday morning and Beth is off to a relaxing salon visit. Me I am watching Transformers and then Bourne Ultimatum [not Beth's favorites]. Yesterday I tried to do some staining outside, bad idea! I did the deck area by the pool and when I finished it I had to come inside and call it quits for the day. I was only out for about an hour and half but the heat, humidity and strain of moving my left leg around took too much out of me. So today is a rest day. I am working on my school lecture and constructing their tests for the upcoming semester. After that lesson I am going to focus on rehabing my leg and its strength. I so much want to do some household duties but simple painting with a roller was too much so I am still learning. The upcoming week is going to be filled with a lot of activity for me too. I have rehab three times, see the medical doctor to be cast for my brace on my left leg, see my neuro surgeon and leave for Ohio to see Molly [granddaughter] and celebrate her 2nd birthday. We also get to see the children [her parents] and other family members so it will be fun. It will also be nice to travel a little bit and see some new sights.

August 13th

Well day three of my therapy. I thought I did a lot of things already but I was wrong. I had an obstacle course to maneuver by using only my left leg that has about 20% use. I had to check my balance ability, they are real good at testing my skills at being able to function on my own. Though it is hard work it is very encouraging and they are also very encouraging to me. I am there for an hour and they work me the whole hour, stairs, tricks, long walks, walking in the grass to see balance, and I even rode a bicycle. Well it was stationary too, but it felt so nice to feel the left leg exercised. Beth stayed the whole time and then off to my primary care doctor so he could see me and where I was at. I have not seen him since the beginning of May when they were telling me all that was wrong with me was a 'weak left foot' and nothing more. The doctor did put me on the new blood pressure medicine that the hospital put me on because the one I had been on since 1991 was not working. The therapists are 'amazed' at my accomplishments and growth in only one week. I credit them and they credit me, either way what is wonderful is that I am making progress and I love it. The doctors were telling me back in the beginning before surgery that I should NOT plan on teaching this fall. So I saw only a few clients today and none now until Monday. What I also love about this therapy is I am doing more and more on my own, becoming more free and gaining more freedom. It feels so good to do things for myself. I do like having Beth do things for me also though don't get me wrong. She helps out so much. We picked up the adjustable ankle weights so I can use them at home on my own for physical therapy. I do take time out for me though. I want to thank Kate (the daughter in Wisconsin) for starting this blog and updating everyone in the beginning. She did a wonderful job and was such a help. I have some friends who sent me a Robert Frost book which I am also enjoying reading. I realize I need my down time and I take it when I need it, I will take care of myself and continue to as I am learning a new way of living life.

August 12th

Well I had another successful day at rehab. They had me walk the whole distance of the parking lot which may not sound like a lot but it is. Besides that I have learned just how much some people do not seem to care or think of someone who has special needs. I am of course referring to cars and their drivers. Like someone with a cane or walker can move quickly out of their way. Anyway then to make life challenging she had me walk in the grass the for about 40 yards. I will say she pre-warned me about there being divots and holes. She was testing my balance and the ability for Phil to re-gain my balance should I stumble. Well I successfully completed their course. LOL! They are looking to cast a brace for my left leg from the knee down to give support while I re-gain the strength. They are very encouraging as they are surprised how well I do in my performance. Funny thing is though seals, bears, and elephants get treats when they perform and I get nothing. Hmmm. After wards I went to my office and saw a couple of clients and did prep work for my upcoming classes. Beth and I had a nice quiet dinner and chatted. Tomorrow Beth will take me to re-hab but will wait with me as we go to see my Primary Care Physician afterwards. Last time I talked to him was in February and he referred me to the Spine Center at Unity because they thought the two herniated disks I have were the cause of my leg problem. It should be an interesting visit. Oh yea I have actually three herniated disks and no idea how they are doing let alone the kidney stones that they have blasted three times and I still have. Well with all that going on Life is Great I gotta admit. Beth is right there, keeps my meds straight, appointments and all, encourages me. What more could I ask for in life? Nothing. She is the best I will admit publicly. God had truly Blessed me with so much and I am truly grateful for it all. Take care and have a good night.

August 11th

Well I went to my first full physical therapy visit today. Jessica worked me hard which I am grateful for as I know it will only help. I have exercises to do at home now too so I can do re-hab at home. After my session I went to my office and I saw four clients. What is great is that two of them were brand new clients. No I am not over doing it. I will not see more than three clients a day, with the exception of today. I am pacing myself and will not push too hard. I am also limiting how many days I will see clients. The therapist was pleased that I was using my cane and not my walker today. I see them again tomorrow and I know I will sleep well tonight after a long day.

Tuesday Afternoon

Hello,
It's Beth (again). I just had to share that when Phil logged on to read his blog this morning (I was in the kitchen making coffee) I heard a loud "Hey" - I knew right away he had seen my "Disclaimer" post. It made me smile to think that in the midst of such seriousness (making sure he doesn't fall, taking all of his medications, arriving on time at his Dr. appts, etc...) we were laughing at a "He said" "She said" moment. Phil is one of the most generous and loving men in the world. His view of "normal" is changing and it's a "good thing" (that's a shout out to all Martha Stewart fans of ages ago), but I digress. I know that beginning today his days will be getting longer with physical therapy session and even going to his office for a couple of hours. I will pick him up after work and I fully expect that he will be tired, and yet excited, that God has continued to watch over him. It's a good reminder to me that God walks beside us always. God has plans for our lives. I firmly believe that Phil's experiences this summer are a part of a greater plan (something that we cannot begin to imagine). Perhaps someday we will be able to look back and say "That's why God allowed that to happen" but in the meantime, it's a crazy ride through life that only a believer can appreciate. Our God is awesome and loving and healing and kind and ..... (fill-in the blank). He's amazing and everyday He blesses us with friends and family who give encouragement. Corrie TenBoom said it best when she said "Every person we meet, every experience we have, is but a preparation for a future that only He knows" I second that!

Disclaimer of Previous Post

Hi everyone,
It's Beth and I just had to post a "Spousal Disclaimer" to Phil's previous post. I came home from a busy day at work and decided to sneak a peak at "Phil's Progress". Imagine my surprise at reading my wonderful husband's post regarding the retirement of his walker. Now I am all for rehabilitation but in my opinion, Dr. Phil is being stubborn. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for an active, healthy, human being to struggle with physical limitations and I guess I'm still walking around with my "happy to have a miracle" mentality. That said, I surrender Phil (even his walker) to our Lord (and the physical therapists), if (and only if) they give approval, then Phil can retire his walker. I'm not trying to hold back his progress, just hoping to insure that he doesn't harm himself in his exuberance to excel. Please keep giving Phil your encouragement and remember him in your prayers. This week begins the 3x week physical therapy (along with home exercises) and he's going to try a couple of hours at his office. Specifically, pray that his energy will hold out for the day (and that he will know when to take small breaks). We believe without a doubt that it is the prayers of each of you that continue to hold us upright and for that, we are forever grateful.
Beth

Monday August 10

What a day today. First off I went shopping with my brother at a Blacker & Decker outlet store. We had fun and I got around using only a cane today. Yes I have retired the walker and am now using a cane. It felt really good to use the cane as that is what I was using before the surgery. I did notice with all of our thunderstorms moving through the last 24 hours I have had a lot of headaches. Good news is I only need Tylenol for the headache. I did real good with my cane walking around the store and through the parking lots. I may not have moved as quickly as I wanted to but still I can use the cane to get around. Tomorrow should be good too as I go to my first full therapy session, one hour. I want to exercise and strengthen my leg. Though life is changing and I am re-gaining I am still echoing the words of Kate in my mind "a new normal". I am still watching myself and going to slow down a bit and not pick up as much as I did before.

Saturday

Well today was a fantastic day to say the least. First of all I decided to 'graduate' myself to a cane. The people in PT suggested I use one and not the walker and I did fairly well so today I decided that to get around the house I would use my cane and no walker. I did good all day with it! I was so proud of myself. Also I have managed to completely avoid the refrigerator [LOL!]. I worked on my notes for my Child Development class that is upcoming and I noticed that I was taking the information and lecture in a lot easier than just four days ago. Dr Pilcher told me about my memory and all with its workings just after surgery. Beth and I went to church and had some dinner when we got home. Of course I had the cordless phone with me in the family room to answer during the day. Well, when it came time to leave for church I put the phone in my pocket so I could use the walker to get to the base and put it back. I could blame short term memory [lol] as what I did was completely forgot to put the phone on the base unit. Yep, it went to church with me and back home again as I completely forgot I had it. Not being able to find it Beth his the pager button and I heard it ring so I picked up the cushions on the couch but could not find it, yet I heard it. Then the light bulb went off and I realized it was in my pocket. Beth got a great laugh out of it. Over all it was a good day and I plan on using the cane more and more so I will not need the walker and just a cane. I am just very aware that my head, not leg, had 65 staples in it and now has 6 titanium plates with screws holding it together for a reason so be careful! Still my recovery is nothing short of a miracle and God's hand is so evident in my life. I am so thrilled and want so much to share with others. Thanks and God Bless

Therapy Day

Yep, Beth dropped me off at my first physical therapy visit. I have to go to a neuro specialist and there was a waiting list and for 'some reason' I got in quicker. Anyway I went and they really worked me hard. They actually made me walk with only a cane no walker in a parking lot. You know where there are people driving cars. Needless to say I was a bit fearful of the whole thing. I stumbled a few times, they caught me but it was a bit frightening, some because I do not want to injure myself. I ended up doing quite well when they were testing me for some mobility in my left leg. I also actually visited my office today for the first time to check on my mail. It felt a bit weird. I have therapy scheduled next week Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. They too seemed real encouraging to me. Oh and on a last note I hit my head again this morning on the refrigerator handle so Beth made up a new rule: Phil is not allowed in near the refrigerator without parental supervision. Beth and I had a great dinner together tonight sent over by or church. What a Blessing.

Learning

Today was most interesting. My brother, Jim, is such a Blessing. He is not only an older brother [2 yrs'] but also a brother in Christ which is great. Anyway we spent the day together again and he is so patient and encouraging with me. Reminding his little brother how and how not to do things for my well being. He helped me exercise my leg a lot today, he keeps me going and though helpful is great at helping me learn independence. I want to do as much as possible so my Jim and I did some of the weekly and daily household duties that needed to done so Beth wouldn't have to. It was a very long day for me at the same time and I was exhausted by the time Beth picked me up and brought me home. Well, unfortunately why she was getting the mail I decided I could make my own dinner and went to the refrigerator. As I was getting stuff out I hit the top of my head against the freezer handle and with no staples anymore cut my head open. It started bleeding at a good flow so I was able to put some cloth and ice on it to stop the bleeding and it did. When Beth came in she assisted me. I told her that I am focused on my leg and regaining the use of it that I forget how my head is where the operation is done. Lesson learned is God is reminding my I had surgery on my head not my leg. Heal the head and leg will follow. I will say I had a headache and could feel the scalp so I learned. I guess sometimes no matter how old we get we still need some help learning. I start my physical therapy tomorrow and I am looking forward to that. I actually believe that by next week I will graduate from walker to cane. I will also remember that though the left leg may not work my 'head' is what I need to protect. Thank you for your continued prayers as they make a difference and I firmly believe is directly impacting my healing and situation in life every minute of every day. . . Praise Him

Gains

Today Beth was able to encourage me and I walked two stairs at a time coming down to breakfast! What a fantastic start to the day, I also realize how much we can take somethings for granted. Though I cannot get into PT until Thursday I did some of my own with assistance of my brother and sister, straightening my leg out and bending it and back out. Again sounds simple but it can be very difficult. I try to walk and exercise the leg as much as possible and healing is taking place. I actually made my own dinner up and feel great about that accomplishment. I am gaining a whole new respect for those around me who do not have life so easy for mobility. The beauty that surrounds me from God is still amazing, and as Kate has said Phil is going to learn a 'new' normal. I am going to live a new normal and not just with any restrictions but also life. I am really looking forward to being open to God using me to His Will and how this might Bless or help someone else.... I am still smiling at the two stairs this morning. . .

Progess

Today was a good day, yet again though there were some set backs. Beth and I ran some errands and tried to put in place the remaining appointments for my recovery. The main one was my physical therapy which has to be with a neuro physical therapist (the re-hab place I've been using and love so much are more of an orthopedic rehab, which will help along the road but for now I need the neuro guy). The doctor wanted me in therapy three times a week for at least 4 weeks, the soonest the physical therapy place could get me in for an intake is Thursday. This means that my therapy will not really begin until next week. Beth and I have noticed that I have already lost some use of my leg (just since last Friday at the hospital). Go figure, by now we are experts! We are doing what we can to keep me exercising, resting, and watching the leg for bruising as blood clots are still a major concern of doctor. Beth upon orders today took the day and did something for her, she SO MUCH not only deserves but needs. Tomorrow Beth is planning to return to work and I will be setting up my "visitation schedule" - currently I am not permitted to be alone (someone has to be with me 24 hours a day in case of a seizure. Either way whatever the situation before us, we both know God is in control. He has a plan and we will try to be faithful to follow. People around us have been so supportive we continue to thank everyone for the thoughts and prayers.

Sunday

Today was a very good day! Beth and I had breakfast (after a nice quiet night's sleep). I was happy to see Beth rest, she is there for me in every way. After our morning together, I went with my brother (who drove over and picked me up) to visit with his family. Beth was able to do some gardening, which I know she enjoyed. My visit with my brother's family was fantastic and then home for some dinner with Tim, Kristen and Beth. Tomorrow, I start the next phase of recovery, re-gaining the use of my left leg. Beth and I are doing well and thank you for all your prayers. I must tell all I will never be able to express just how much of a Blessing Beth is!!!!!!

Day Two

Well, game plan was I was restricted to the first floor for a week, plans changed and I am able to use the second floor! Beth is wonderful and one main reason for my strides. She did tons of work around the house today, which I am so grateful for as she knows how much it means to me as to how the house looks. Not be able to do it and watch was hard, she did a fantastic job too. Too challenge my mind as the doctors had told me I would need to do, I watched and worked on my notes for Child Psychology that I am teaching this fall. We did have a restful night, though as they also told me sleep normal for me for the next few months will probably be 2 to 3 hours up for an hour and then sleep again. To end our day Beth and I went to church, Praised God in song and worship! It was a beautiful service and we loved the fact that we are giving Glory to Him! So home afterwards, relaxing and call it a day. God continues to work in every corner of this situation, go figure. The most glorious thing of all for me is that the pain is such to a minimum.