Weekende update

Sorry to all first of all because I have not put in an update since last Tuesday and a lot has happened. I did have a physical therapy visit and when I started to pedal away I noticed that there were no straps for my left foot on the pedal. Normally there is a strap you slide your foot into like a racer would do to keep the foot in place. When I asked about it they told me Andy took it off and wanted me to try without a strap. Well I did my mile plus a little with no strap. I realize that may not mean a lot to some but as I was pedalling away I thought back to one year ago. Last June, of 2009, when I went in for therapy Andy had to use two long velcro straps to hold my left foot in place because it turned sideways and or slip off the pedal. Here I was a year later and I was able to control my foot enough to keep it flat on the pedal.

I manage to mow my lawn, though I think I am still going to have to hire someone to help me with it. It seems to be too much, and I also notice my upper quad muscles on my left leg become sore and ache if I walk on the leg too much. I have been putting heat on the leg and ice on my ankle. I am still dealing with and in acceptance mode when it comes to how much I cannot do. My teaching is done so that is a huge weight off my shoulders especially with final grades in.

I was going to mow today but I instead am taking a break and pretty much calling it a day as for work outside and my brace. With that said it seems as if my capabilities are pretty much peaking out so in the next 6 or 8 weeks I need to learn how to maintain the usage I have.

First day back

Well here is my first day back and it was filled to the brim. To start off I have posted a picture of the Roman coliseum. Customs was not as bad as I thought it would be, they were fairly agreeable. I will admit though I did not ask for a wheelchair so I walked it and I realized I should have requested the wheelchair. Why didn't I? Pride, what can I say. I still want to do and be like some of my old ways. It is hard to accept. Today I got my brace inspected for my left leg which goes from my knee down and along the foot to keep it flat as I walk. They put a new pad at the end which is where my toes push against it because they are tensed all the time. The new pad felt so good on my foot it was like heaven. I had to mow the lawn and by the time I was done mowing I could no longer walk on my left foot. The ankel was so sore I could not put weight on it. I have had it happen before and so I ice it and wait for it to feel better. Somehow I disconnected the cord and my computer crashed so I am posting this a day late.

Roma for the day

Well I saw the Colosseo, the Forum, Pantheon and more in Rome today and it was weather perfect! Beth took a picture but it would not send so I will not get it to load, sorry. Very tired from walking but it was worth it. Now settle down for some dinner and sleep before we fly home tomorrow... ciao

Roma

Well first I apologize to those of Italian descent as it is Firenze spelled correctly. Well we grabbed the train to Roma this morning and arrived safely at our hotel, however yesterday was filled with happiness as my son was married. The wedding was absolutely beautiful as was Kristen the bride. She looked spectacular in her wedding dress and all the people crowds and crowds of them clapped as they saw the bride. Marriage is really a celebration here and the ceremony was unique. Not the American style of obey, honour and such. Here they spoke of coming together in unity for one direction, a direction of family, and they agree to go in the same direction. They included children in it too (we should learn from this) saying when you have children you both commit to encouraging them from their talents, gifts and uniqueness to provide them with direction in life. Our dinner afterwards was fantastic at a traditional Italian restaurant. It was called Il Latini. They started us off with cheese to start, then they brought us chicken liver pate and a tomato /pasta salad, once that was done they brought us three different pasta dishes ravioli, beef pasta and a pasta with vegetables, (keep in mind there was too much of each to eat it all) then came our course of meat which included lamb, beef, chicken, pork and rabbit with extra side dishes of spinach and potatoes both of which melted in your mouth, then came eight desserts which we shared and then we finished it all with an espresso. I should add that we had water, wine and champagne to toast with also. It was great. It was so old family that the staff ate before the people were allowed in to sit and dine. What is great also is that there is NO clock when eating any place in Italy and it may be Europe for that matter. If you want to sit and talk all night so be it. Tomorrow Beth and I are off to explore Roma though I will admit on the side that I was putting ice on my foot last night and the walking it taking a toll. People for the most part have been very helpful and willing to offer help to me with out asking. so once again I say ciao....

Fiernze

Well here we are in Italy, Forence to be more exact. I discovered that Florence is called Fierenze (I will call Florence from here on out) on maps and by those in Italy. What an experience especially as this is my first time in Italy or Eurpoe for that matter. The flight was great and customs was rather easy to get through. Look, smile, and they stamp the passport. We got our luggage and off to the train terminal in Roma so we can head out. I had three gypsy women approach me and try to rifle my pockets as we walked and with a frim NO they left. Beth was upset thinking I was just short and angry so I explained what happened. There was a nice lady with a baby only about three weeks old that helped us with the process of purchasing our train tickets which I was very thankful for.

Once in Florence, we grabbed a taxi to our hotel and had some ice cream before settling in for the night. Our room is in a hotel that was built in 1280 AD so it is very nice. Though old it is modern with heated towel racks. The staff is also great.

Today Beth and I took a tour bus of Florence, which I thought I would never do til my sixties at least, but there I was. It was fantastic and we learned a ton. Afterwards we decided to get some lunch. Learning the Euro system we found a nice restaurant and sat down. They had fresh made pasta so we ordered ravioli and it was fantastic. We finished lunch and walked the streets of Florence for about four and a half hours. We shopped and took pictures it was so very nice. More happened but that would be long and drawn out to explain here. It is enjoyable and tomorrow they, Tim my son and his bride Kristin mt new daughter(in-law) will be married. I am certain it will beautiful. Friday we head to Roma for a few days before we fly home to the States. What is fun is we get three English speaking channels, BBC news, CNN and Eurosports. I watched Walker Texas Ranger last night. I never knew he and his sidekick spoke fluent Italian. BRAVO!

Nice Day

Well I think mowing the lawn was a bit too much for me because the ankle was sore and I needed to ice it. It is so hard to know what I cannot do or what is too much. I will admit that my yard looks very nice which if you know me you know that. My brother made some adjustments on my Trans AM and I can start it a lot easier. The adjustments were all his own unique creativity and thought along with his talented skills with machinery. Now when I can drive I just need to get it inspected first. Well as many know off to Italy this week for my son's wedding in Florence. It is a long flight but all should be ok. I am concerned about wearing my brace that long and the effect it will have on my leg. Bottom line though is that God saw me through the last year so I could go, so I will Praise Him.

Long week

I am so very glad the week is at an end. With the teaching semester ending it seems students come at the end and 'then' they look for help. I will do what I can to help because I love to see people learn and succeed, believe in themselves. This week was loaded with teaching, clients, training, new clients hoping for help, physical therapy and preparing to fly to Italy next week for my son's wedding.

Physical therapy today was good as I had a student work with me so it is nice to see someone new. Of course no one will ever replace Andy, I firmly believe God put him in my path last year. After all my Christian chiropractor sent me to Andy in the beginning. Therapy was good, then I went to the annual court mental health gathering. I saw a lot of people I had not seen in years, which was nice, and then we broke into groups. My group went upstairs and I had one of the organizers apologize to me for having me walk up the stairs. I shared with her that it is ok, I am the one who needs to speak up if something is too much for me. I explained that I have learned living with some disability I rather I express my limitations instead of people putting too many limits. I do appreciate the thoughtfulness 100% I just don't want people feeling bad that something is their fault.

The rest of my day was long and hard. I had a client who was nothing short of insulting, mean and immature yet asking for help. What was nice to find out today was that I have been wondering if anyone reads this blog, does it help anyone, can anyone relate? Then today a friend whom I have not seen in three years shared with me how other friends who I no longer see, they have moved away, read my blog and stay up to date. That made me feel good. I am glad though the weekend is here and I can rest. I have found that I put heat on my leg and ice on my foot a lot lately as walking on it for four hours or more does that.

Neurologist update too, he reviewed my MRI and decided I can wait a year until my next MRI so he is indicating the tumor is slow growing which means it should not reappear for a few years anyway. Praise God.

?

Well it is Sunday, Mother's Day. The weekend was not too bad for me, though I fell in my garage yesterday. I was sharing with someone today how I sometimes forget my left leg does not move though in my mind it does as I tell it too. It is hard to sometimes for those closest to me to understand this. That seems to be the hardest or one of the hardest issues for me right now. As Kate said I needed to learn a new normal and I am still learning as for 52 years my left leg, foot and toes all moved when I thought about it. Now that does not happen at all and I am still learning that new piece. The thing is I am realizing that those around must or I need them to learn my new normal also. It would make my life easier as I am sure it would make others lives easier who incur some kind of mishap. Every day though as I say is a good day because as my brother says, I am a walking miracle by the Graces of God.

Weekend up date

I had to mow today and when I was done the ice was once again my friend to help me mend. My brother came over and he was working on my Trans AM so I can hopefully take it out and enjoy this summer. While he was doing that I was trying to assist him and down I went. I fell face first on the garage floor. When I am use to having use of my left leg for fifty some years it is still difficult to remember every second of life that it no longer works. Fortunately I did not injure anything.

Now to talk about the definition I posted yesterday. I realized as I read it that though there is a definition the understanding may not be there. The axon that is destroyed is like a long telephone wire that carries a message (charge) from one connection to another. The fact that they have been cut, lost and destroyed is why my body does not work. The message lines have been cut so though I think it, want it and will it with no connection it does not happen.

Medical update

Well today I had the honor of going to see my Neurologist, the man who first found my tumor and hospitalized me which probably saved my life so I am with all today. I thought all was well because I did not get a phone call after my MRI. My appointment was at 9 am and I knew it would be a few hours. Well they took me in pretty much on time and got some basic medical readings and then the intern asked me about some update on my situation. Well we talked a few more times as she came and left. My nine o'clock went to ten, then eleven and about noon Dr. Smith came in and asked if I wanted to view the MRI myself. Telling him yes we marched off to his office, he has these two computer screens that are about 36 inches. He showed me where the tumor was and how the brain has and will not fill in the empty area though it did grow about fifty percent of the space back.

While talking Dr Smith mentioned my "wallerian degeneration" which I took the time to list the definition for you:

wal·le·ri·an degeneration (w-lîr-n) n.
The degeneration of a nerve fiber that has been separated from its nutritive center by injury or disease, characterized by segmentation of the myelin and resulting in atrophy and destruction of the axon. Also called orthograde degeneration, secondary degeneration.

So that is the area or neural damage that will remain, though we talked about my physical therapy and the trouble my medical coverage is giving me saying it is not medically related. Dr Smith agreed to write up a letter for me to submit to them and in it he included the fact that my therapy should continue for another five months for my growth. I did graduate from a red (temporary) handicap permit to a blue (permanent) handicap permit. I never EVER thought of myself needing special parking at my young age. We did talk of my pain I am now experiencing from doing so much. It will be very hard for me to balance cutting back and yet still being active. From being an independent person since the ripe old age of eight.

I do know that whatever lays before me will be a reward. In my class on relationships the last chapter is on what is one going to do with their life. What path will they choose and I show a dvd of Viktor Frankl and his message is what will me make out of our situation. This semester watching it I was thinking to myself, this disability is an opportunity for me to do something, accomplish something, use it for even more than I have. I am not sure what that is but I do know I am open to it. Though I have limitations I realize I have abilities and opportunities that I must take. Over all not a bad day at the doctors, well not a whole day only five hours. Dr Smith is well worth the wait.

Taking Care

Today ended up being a day where I had to put myself first and that is something I am not use to. I have no idea what I did to my left foot but I did something as it was very painful to walk on where the big toe is. Understand that my left foot is as if it is constantly asleep, toes always tensed up in a curled fashion, bruised and always swollen. So as I made my way to the copier every step I took brought a sharp pain which made me want to pick the foot back up and not put pressure on it. I prayed it would subside but as the day went on and I walked to where I needed to go to teach the pain remained sometimes growing in its intensity. I had a few clients I was suppose to see later in the day. When my last class came I was dreading every step I had to take, thinking of each place I had to go and how could I reduce the amount of steps I needed to take with my foot. In side my head I kept hearing this voice tell me, "Take care of yourself first". So listening I cancelled appointments and came home and iced the foot. When I got home I did what had to be done and then put the foot up and put the ice on it. My brother and I were talking on the phone and me being alone this week asked if I wanted some pizza for dinner seeing how I had no plans. Having some medical background he looked my foot over, made sure I was putting ice on it and served up the pizza. We sat and talked and had a great visit sharing in some food. It was hard for me to pull back and put myself first and cancel the appointments but I am certain my body is very grateful. My new normal, I am still practicing as I learn....

Warmer weather

Well classes are winding down as the semester is coming to an end. I have worn my brace the last two days so I thought I would wear my electrical stim device today. I also had physical therapy so I thought it would be good to wear it for that as Andy, my therapist, has me use it in my therapy if I bring it.

Well this morning I got up and had my coffee got ready and put the device on. I have to run the wires down through my clothing and attach the pads to the side of my leg. It is a bit to connect it but it is so wonderful to have it work. I made sure I put the two freshly charged batteries in their case on the table just in case. Well off to school to teach so I get dropped off and I reach to try to turn it on and no power. So I reach into my bag only to see I left the batteries on the table. So I made my way to my office.

Now I am not looking for sympathy but want to explain what happened as a result of leaving my batteries. My left foot when I try to pick it up about six inches, it turns to a 45 degree sideways so the outside ankle is looking down and the toes do not come up but will drag unless I remember to make sure I pick them up. So I take each step this way with no support for the ankle because my brace is home. It was very difficult to walk, take each step and keep things level and not twist my ankle. I got to physical therapy and did as much as I could. I rode the bike for 1.4 miles so I did great there and Andy introduced a new task for me I named the "sammy the seal"' A therapist tosses the ball to me and I have to catch it and throw it back like a seal would do in the show. The difficulty is I have my feet touching next to each other or one foot in front of the other. The ball is thrown to the left and the right side. The goal is to be off balance but re gain it and not fall down. Andy spots me in case I do bad. Though a couple of times I teetered I did not fall nor need his help to maintain my balance which was great.

When I got home the lawn needed to be mowed but my ankle was hurting too much. That being the case I went inside and iced it down resting on the couch. Over all it was a good day but difficult with my disability giving me a hassle the best it could.

Great Day

First I take credit for the warm temp's and sunshine today in Rochester. Those who live here know that is unheard of and I take credit for bringing it with me from Hawaii last week! :-) Today was great as I got to go out and mow the lawn and even trimmed the lawn. Being able to mow is important to me as I like to tend my lawn. I still may hire it out to mow as it was and will be challenging for me to mow twice a week. It was nice to be out and get around, I even visited some neighbors I had not seen since before my surgery. Tonight we are off to church then I will watch my race, Sprint Cup, tonight. I am thinking my MRI showed nothing as I have not heard from my neurologist yet and I see him this coming Friday morning. Well it is so good mentally for me to get out and get around in life.