Long week filled with so much

I think myself as fairly well disciplined but I fall far short of that when it comes to my blog. I need to discipline myself to update more often. As I went off to teach on Monday and I was heading into the building I was making my way to the elevator. As I was walking the one opened filled up and off it went. As I got closer suddenly the second one opened up and I thought "thank you God". It was as if He was saying 'I am watching'. Anyway I thought to myself that when I got home Monday night I was going to blog 'has God talked to you today?'. Seems the conversation can come is so many different ways but the key is are we paying attention to be able to hear or are we too busy? Well as you see I failed to blog. I had a fantastic day though and so many other things happened to me on Monday and Tuesday showing me I am being watched over.

I realize people are right, I am doing a bit too much. Getting my classes in order, students, some on waiting lists wanting to make it into my class. What is great is to take attendance and see faces of students you taught in the past taking a course you teach because you are the professor. That makes me feel so good, not that I am good but that they must enjoy learning and growing. It is so fulfilling seeing people grow and learn in life.

I have been wearing my portable electrical stim device to assist me in my walking all week. It took some getting use to with the cords and all running down my leg. So for the whole week I have not worn my brace at all which is great. It is nice I just power it up when I go to walk and it actually works great!

My therapy on Monday was great also as Andy increased the resistance and I did over a mile still. I am gaining more movement in distance which is great. I am now starting to learn how to balance again. I am trying to stand heel to toe both ways and to stand that way for 30 seconds which I find very difficult to do.

Today my son was bringing me home and like normal we are getting a bit of a snow storm. We went to pull in the driveway here with all the blowing snow and the garbage can was blocking us right in the middle. I offered to get it out of the way and my son could bring my stuff in for me. Well I got the garbage unit up and the wind caught it head on, pushed it back into me. Well not having great balance, pushed back, a little bit of ice I tried to stay up but down I went onto the driveway and hit his car. My son got out and made sure I was ok and told me go on in and he would get everything. A bit sore but nothing broke and nothing was cut. I really hate the fact that it is one more reminder that 'Phil you cannot.....'. I like to be able to do so I guess I am still learning a new in life.

I will try to update more often. I know I am being watched over and it shows. Life is good today and will be tomorrow.

Going forward

Well first day of school and no one took my picture. I asked some of my students if they were excited to be back in school. I think I am much more excited than they are but that's ok. Classes went well and at the end I was off to my physical therapy. Of course on the way we stopped by our local Verizon store to get the new Palm Pre Plus. I was like a child in a candy store, "gimme one of those and one of these and one of...." I love to play though I never learn how to use the item 100%. Anyway back to my therapy, Andy increased my resistance on the bike by 20% and I still did a little over a mile in my 12 minutes. He had me do other exercises adding weights to me. Toward the end he had me walk the length of the center and back. While I was walking back he took a video of me with his I phone and we watched it together. It was so cool to see my left foot with no brace or device to help me walk with a heel strike. My step was resembling that of a normal one. I just looked at it with a lot of happiness and pleasure. People keep telling me how much better I am walking and now I can see it for myself. It was so cool to see and know that I am improving. Of course I admit the whole time I kept thinking of my new Palm Pre and playing with it. Though the rain fell today and the skies were gray the sun was shining down all around me all day long. God is so good!

Weekend is here

Well what a relief the weekend is here! I had to prep for the new semester on Monday, take care of clients on Monday and Friday and finish up my Child Development class. It was hectic to say the least but Friday is here. Then the last two nights have been terrible for sleeping, my legs have been hurting and I don't know exactly what it is but I do know they hurt. Then with my tossing and turning all night has made it difficult for Beth to rest thru the night also. I do know that I need to start disciplining myself to exercise more at home because it looks like it will be difficult for me to do physical therapy two times a week. I hope to rest this weekend to prepare myself for the week ahead. I also want those who read this and call me to know though I may not return your call the same day or even the next day or two it is hard for me to find the time. I am not crazy about talking on the phone and I have to call clients besides those to provide rides. Usually by the time I have all my necessary calls made it is late evening and I need to wind down to relax for resting. Well we will see how the weekend goes.

Beautiful Day

Today I had physical therapy again and it was one filled with new pieces again. It feels like I have just begun therapy. First the resistance on the bike was increased and I still was determined to do a mile. Then the weights were increased on my leg exercises and a new one added. After all of that I was asked to put my feet one in front of the other and try to balance for 30 seconds and then once I could switch the order and again balance for 30 seconds. It was kind of like taking a sobriety test that a police officer gives and I would fail miserably. LOL! Well I was finally able to do it both ways but it took a lot of effort. Something so simple yet so hard. My legs when I finished were 'both' sore and I had to use the heating pad on them when I got home. A piece of cool news is Andy gave me approval to use my portable stim device when I walk to class so I can wear it tomorrow. I am so looking forward to that, seeing how it allows me to walk as a normal person. I have to finish up my class this week of Intersession teaching and begin the Spring semester on Monday.

It has to be the name . . . . . .

Well I flew home today from Knoxville TN from visiting my daughter. Little did I know what an interesting day it would be. It started off nice enough as we all went to breakfast and then headed to the airport. While being dropped off I took the luggage out of the trunk and hugged Karissa and shook Chad's hand good bye. We tried to check in for our flights and they had no record of us to fly but eventually they found the fights for us. We got our boarding passes and headed to security. When we got to the check point where the shoes and walk through takes place I did my normal. I told them that due to some surgery I had a brace on my left leg and cannot take my shoes off. As usual I put my stuff on the conveyor belt: belt, laptop computer, jacket and personals. I walked through the check machine and did not set it off, normal again. I was asked to sit so they could check my shoes, normal again. They as I said when we left use a swab on my brace, another on my shoes and another on my hands to check for explosives and such. So as I am waiting for them to put them in the machine I suddenly hear it "BEAP" saying it found something. Oh boy I am thinking. Well the TSA people came back over and said I had some residue that tested positive on my hands. Am I about to get labeled? So off come my shoes and they x-ray them, they then put the hand wand over my body very slowly as I stand up with my arms held straight out to each side. Of course as I was putting them up and out a 'female' TSA agent came through the swinging door and you guessed it my hand hit her right where it did not belong! I apologized and she smiled. Oh boy this was not going well. They went through all my stuff one thing at a time as Beth stood off to the side on the other side of the wall watching. The handheld metal detector did go off as I told them it would when it went over my head, due to the six plates I now have. Well they released me and said they were not sure why I set it off. I told them the only thing I could think of was that the night before we on their back deck and Chad was shooting off fireworks with his right hand and we shook hands when I left. The TSA guy said it was very sensitive and that could be it. He told me next time I visit, no fireworks. He had a sense of humor too, they were very nice and understanding yet thorough to keep us safe. Anyway on to the plane and in the air. We landed at Cincinnati Airport [which is in Kentucky go figure] and I swore I had to walk a mile to get into the airport it was like a maze. They said they would have a wheel chair for us and as we got there an attendant said the cart would be here in a minute as he was waiting for someone at one gate up. We saw him sitting there and waiting. Soon five minutes turned into ten and he was only like twenty yards away so Beth asked the attendant if it would be ok if we walked to him and she said yes. So we gathered up our stuff and off we went. Well when we were within twenty feet of him he suddenly drives off as we watch. Beth asked if we should chase him. Well she went back and the attendant told her he was going to go up and turn around because he was pointed the wrong way for us. Eventually he came back and said they gave him the wrong gate. We made it to our next flight and on to home. What a day, what an experience. My brother says it is our luck because of our last name. I don't know maybe he has something there. The day is done, we are home safe, Bambi is happy I am home and, wait a moment one more thing. As I was rolling Beth's luggage into the airport to check it I told her that it was so hard to pull. I told her it was like the brakes were on it. Well she picked it up at baggage claim in Rochester and informed me that it was missing one of the two wheels so that is why it did not pull so easily. There were a few more tidbits but not worth mentioning. On the more serious side most people were very understanding and helpful with me which was nice. I have a real time dealing with this disability I have with my leg. I pray it gets 100% back to normal but realize the chances are it will not happen so I need to continue working on acceptance of my short coming and how it will affect my and others life's around me no matter. Over all though most people are very understanding and helpful over all. Thanks for such a wonderful and interesting day God, above all I knew as always You are in charge and watching over me and others always.

Time away

As it says I am in the great state of Tennessee, Knoxville to be exact. To begin with the weather is a lot nicer right now than it is in Rochester. Yesterday when we landed here the sun was shining and it was like a summer day. Did a little bit of shopping and Karissa is doing fine. Again I needed a wheelchair to get from one gate to the next at Detroit Metro which I feel real weird doing. I feel like I am too young to be in a wheelchair. It was funny when we were going to board the plane to Knoxville because when they started to board every passenger rushed to get in line. Besides me there was an elderly lady with a walker that a man cut off so I could tell the type of people or at least some of the people would be like. I actually felt sorry for the woman as she was in more need than I was. We went shopping today and it was very enjoyable. I saw some things for a granddaughter and just had to pick them up. Once I bought them I thought how her birthday is not until August and there is NO way I am waiting that long to give them to her. I just cannot wait that long. This is the first time my daughter has seen me since just before I went in for my surgery last July so she was happy for the visit as am I. I did pretty good walking and all with the mall and such. Going through security for the air port was also nice as security was willing to yet again work with me having to keep my shoes and brace on.

COOL gift - Great Day !

Have you ever had a day that was absolutely fantastic? Well I had one today, not that everything went my way because it didn't. I had problems and obstacles but it was still a great day. After testing my students on what they know and lecturing I headed out for a lunch date. This lunch date was not just any old lunch date it was with two very special people in my life. One was the person who never gave up telling me to get a second opinion from her neurologist which ended up saving my life. So yes this was a very special lunch and then the other lady has been so supportive and helpful in my life also. I am certain, 100% certain that God put both of these people in my life for this purpose. What is so neat is they took me to lunch and it was as if time stopped and nothing else in the world existed for that hour. It was absolutely fantastic. Then I had the physical therapy visit. That went great also. I did over a mile again on the bike and then Andy had me do my exercises and I did those, only more of them. Then after my exercises Andy got the portable electrical stim device out and hooked it up to my leg again and I walked on the treadmill. I walked and with the device I was able to walk normally with my left foot. When I would pick it up it was level and the toes were raised with the heel lower like normal. It was fantastic because I actually did not have to sit there and mentally tell myself "pick the foot up straight up, bring it forward holding it in the air and then put it down slowly so it falls flat and does not twist on the ankle". Yes that is what I say to myself every time I take a step so I do not twist my ankle and learn to stop using my hip to pick the foot up. My neurologist sent the prescription to Andy so I was able to bring the unit home with me. We don't know yet if insurance will pay for any of it. If not I can return it and pay nothing as it costs $1,800.00 . I was like a child at Christmas using it to walk. I was so happy to see myself walk normally, and I just believed I can do this on my own someday. A renewed charge of energy and it was great. My problem is that Andy said that I need to watch that I do not fatigue the muscle so I can use it only at 10 minute intervals a couple times a day. Andy was teaching me where I need to put the pads for the electrical current to stimulate the correct muscle. So me being inventive took his pen and put a few light marks on my leg and then when I got home pulled out my Sharpie [permanent marker] and made guide marks on my left leg so I can hook it up the right way. So over all my [not mine out right yet] cool portable stim and lunch with the lady who pushed me to do what I needed for myself made this a fantastic day.

Lovely day

Well I love in some ways being a spectator of this world. I mean we are all spectators if we take the time to realize it, I just happen to have a bit more opportunity to do so. Riding with people being able to sit back and relax while I watch. I have always loved people watching and it is interesting to do. I am also noticing more and more lately the responsibility and irresponsibility of people. How much they show care and how little care some others show. In some ways it is fun as I find it enjoyable to see people and how we all interact with one another. I had someone today tell me their problems (many do that in my line of work) and half way through stopped and said, "but all of my problems are nothing compared to having a tumor or any paralysis". I quickly responded that he should not downplay his problems because they are meaningful to him in his life like anyone else. It was a good lesson that too many times we look at 'our' own problems as all that is going on forgetting that there are people all around who have problems too, some who may just have received some devastating news. Bottom line.... we ALL have Blessings to count and see how high you can count. I started and got to the number forty in no time. I have so much I am blessed with and it starts with the people in my life. Like some of you who read my blog, your comments or knowing you care is a Blessing. Thank you. Also in my last physical therapy appointment Andy got the portable electrical stim machine to give electrical stimulation to my left leg muscles as I walk to help lift the foot in a natural way. It worked great. Now comes having the medical community say that it is a necessity for me to see how much it will cost me. We will see.

Small changes but changes none the less

Well I am still going along and doing well. I have been able to not take any vicodin for three days which is nice. I was able to get my snow blower working [finally] so now I am really ready for the snow when it comes because it will come. I also was able to clean off some more of the driveway and my car which was buried in the white stuff. As I was brushing it off I was thinking how long it has been since I have been behind the wheel driving listening to my xm radio and enjoying the day "BY MYSELF". That is the big part. If you know me you know Phil loves to drive, probably one reason why I drove a car around Daytona Raceway with my brother. Both of us did that and it was the spring before my problems all set in. It was nice to think about it and realize it has been 6 1/2 months and I only have another 5 til I drive. In time, in time. I also was able today to actually pick my left leg up and put it into the leg of my pants as I was dressing. Previously I have had to either sit down or hold something for assistance. Another first. I am also able to make the step up from my garage when I take something out to the trash. Again this is a first, with better balance and lift on my foot. I am ready for my new week.

Bring It On!

I am so thankful the weekend is here. Normally I am awake every day by 5 or 5:30 but my last two nights have been so sleep deprived that I was still sound asleep at 6:20 this morning and had to be awaken. The last two nights have been very rough, I would sleep for an hour and then my leg and muscles were so sore that I had to at least walk for a bit so it worked some of the pain out. Once I walked a bit I could go back to bed, pain relieved back to sleep I would go for another hour. That has been the way my last two nights have gone. I am so exhausted that I had a very hard time getting up today and teaching let alone seeing three clients. What was I thinking when I agreed to all of this? I was thinking my normal way of thinking that is what I was thinking. I am so looking forward to tonight and just sleep away the night. Tomorrow I plan on doing some 'more' snow clean up for the driveway. I just thought that maybe all the snow shoveling I have been doing could be the cause of the leg and muscles aching. Muscles I have not used much since the left leg suffered atrophy from my seizures. I told Beth that tomorrow may be a Die Hard day. I just bought the four Die Hard's on Blue Ray [ I got a blue ray player for Christmas] and just crash. I will do some exercises tomorrow and maybe do a little around the house or not. I am not sure I am only sure that I want to sleep and rest up.

Physical Therapy Update

Well today I had my day of physical therapy. I got on the bike as my first duty and thought I would try to at least do a mile again. As I was riding [well pedaling actually] I saw my pace and then I thought I can do this I know I can. Well I was off and running and ended up at 1.11 miles. What is cool to me is that when I first did the bike I did about one third of a mile and now I am almost at one and a quarter miles in distance. Andy also had me do a new exercise where I lie on my stomach and lift my left leg up backwards. Andy asked me to do 10 of them which is one repetition and I pushed it to thirty. Andy was not surprised one bit. He is giving me some new exercises to do as I am gaining muscle strength, but not as much as I want of course. By me lifting my leg backwards that indicates that I may actually be able to snorkel again in the future. That makes me very happy. We have more snow coming our way as it finally actually stopped snowing today. The teaching is going well and I am enjoying the students. I also invested in a new cane because the bottom of the other one was becoming worn on the one side and was a bit off set. Of course after buying a new one Beth suggested I just turn the bottom rubber piece around 180 degrees so it will be usable. I did and it is so now I have two canes which is fine with me. Things are continuing to look up as I know they will no matter what.

Physical Therapy Update

Well sorry for the delay on an update because therapy was great, what an encouragement. To start off I did my bicycle ride. I was very frustrated on Monday for various reasons which really don't make a difference, but the point is I had energy to get rid of. So I took it out first on my bike. I have stated that I made it to .8 miles and had hoped to hit a mile. Well I took that frustration out on MrBike and pedaled my way to 1.02 miles, yes I did MORE than one mile. Needless to say my physical therapist, Andy, was really surprised at my accomplishment as was I. I think Andy seeing my desire made some of his own, he raised the weights on my exercises and I did them all. On one he told me to do two repetitions of 10 and instead I did three for a total of thirty. When we went to the weight machine he raised my weight level 37 pounds and said do twenty or thirty if I thought I could. He just cautioned me to rest in between. Well I did the thirty and Andy gave me some side step exercises and a step exercise to do. This is to help me gain control of the foot. It was so encouraging to see the progress. I mean two pounds is not a lot of weight but it is forward not backwards and that is what means something to me. I figured that I will take the frustration and put it into therapy. I see Andy again tomorrow but I do not know if I will do much more than the 1 mile right now. I have tried shoveling all this 'lovely' snow we have and continue to get. I can no longer see my grill on the back deck. I am teaching a new class and it is going well. I so enjoy teaching, interacting with others and seeing them grow.

Different Day Same Story

Well lake snow is still with us here, as if that is a surprise. My man that plows has been here twice and will be back again this evening. That should give you an idea of our snowfall. I went out earlier and pushed as much snow as I could back enough so he could pull it out of the driveway and he did. Afterwards I cleaned it up a little bit more. I also had a chance to remove some wallpaper from one of the last rooms I need to re-do so I can sell this coming Spring. I was also able to accomplish some other odds and ends of duties around the house today which was great to do. I invested in a new cane as my old one was getting worn on the bottom. Of course Beth afterwards suggested to me that if I were to twist the bottom around it would even out on wear. I did and she was right so now I have two canes. Beth is very helpful. I have come to realize that a lot if not all of my conversation centers on my leg and or tumor. Well, of course here on the blog it will continue to be so but outside of this I will be pulling back on that kind of talking. I have a life, I accomplish things and not everything in my life is about what has happened this past year. I have so much to be grateful for and am. I discovered who were friends, you know those that are there 'after' things have happened. Not that those who are there in the beginning and then move on with their lives are not, but it is nice to see those who are still there 6 months later caring for and about me. Erik Erikson (noted psychologist) said the last stage of life we either obtain Integrity or Despair and I will say I definitely have Integrity. I am so pleased and happy with where I am at in life and what I have been Blessed to partake of and accomplish. What is beautiful is the validation that comes when I look around and I see who cares for and about me. Then not only do I see who but I see who they are in life, their position and accomplishments and I truly feel as one of the Most Blessed and Lucky people on Earth today. Thank you one and all.......

Snow Cold Snow

Though I am use to the cold and snow I am also learning a new life with it. I think I mentioned that I have someone come and plow out the lower half of the drive way which has been a blessing to have. It was hard to allow as I have never let anyone take care of 'my' house. I have learned that if I do not wear my brace my left foot is still so weak that when it comes down at a 40 degree angle the snow packs underneath it and lets the ankle twist as it always did before. Of course I am not wearing my brace at the time either when I was in the snow. I have shoveled the driveway with my brace on which is a bit cumbersome but allows me to do what I need to do. I did some house activities today, fixing up stuff which I love to do. I have learned that what use to take me two hours will now take me about three to four so almost double the time. My left leg, foot and toes do not bend the way I want nor do they react as I want. I kind of look at them and almost out loud say, "Why don't you listen to me? I want you to turn left and push the toes back." No reaction at all. Maybe in time. Bottom line is that I accomplished some work around the house. I also got my Taylor acoustical out and played for a little which was very enjoyable. Over all not a bad day.