Prayer

This is short and for that I am sorry. I just wanted to ask for something, which is against my normal way. If you have a good relationship with God, say a prayer. If you are close with God and have a great prayer life 'Please say a Prayer'.

God Bless

Medication

Well I am taking the medications as directed and Beth tells me I am sleeping better. Am I sleeping better, I maybe I am not really sure. I know my headaches are still around so who knows. I am growing somewhat tired of trial and error and increasing medications for sleep. I can really relate to when my clients tell me how they get frustrated with their doctors doing trial and error on anti depressants. Time will tell and I see my neurologist soon.

Normal Weekend update

I am not sure if the extra medications I am taking are working or not. I think I am sleeping better but I have only taken the increased dosage for two days. I think it needs a bit more time. I am hoping that it will also work to ease my days. At this point I will take anything that is an improvement for me. I do know that the way I was raised, well grew up, I was taught to be self sufficient and never depend upon others. One thing that has been hard through this whole journey is how to balance that.

When I had a seizure it got to the point that finally Beth had to help me move around in the beginning until some of my movement came back to do it on my own. Then the surgery and all. Today though I am driving and able to get around I still in some cases need help. They are very few and far in between because I make them that way. Unfortunately some days unlike others I need an ear to bend or some support to be lent to me. I try not to say too much because some may mistake it that I am complaining, whining or looking for sympathy. Anyone who really knows me knows that is one thing I never have wanted, maybe it is pride. I know some day's I wish I were not so independent or self sufficient.

Neurologist update

Today I had my visit with the neurologist in my continuing work against my physical issues which are on going. Today he looked at the MRI done about five weeks ago and noticed a few things. He said there is some pushing against the brain where the tumor once was. It is NOT a growth or anything of concern, just kind of like the filling in. Ended up he added a new medication to the ones he already has me on. So as it ends up now I am taking seven pills at night for sleep. One of the reasons was, as he mentioned again, that the nerve and muscle damage done is what we are still working to control. I am using my electrical stim machine for my leg more often. I will see tonight how well the medication works for me. I will say I am not thrilled at taking that many medications at night, but it seems for now I have no choice.

Weekend update

The weekend was not too bad. I had some time with headaches and it was not as bad as some of them in the past. The weather was nice and so the weekend was easy to enjoy. I was able to prepare for the approaching winter with a lot of the things that I normally do. It was nice to be able to do some of the activities all on my own. I think my car, Trans AM, went a whole 80 miles this year. Give or take a mile. Seems my left leg and working a clutch just is not working as a team any more. The season and year is coming to an end for me though it is only mid October. I do see my neurologist this Thursday and we will see how things are going. I think they are going well as long as we can address some of the headaches.

Something that has absolutely nothing to do with my health is what I saw on 60 Minutes tonight. The fact that so many returning veterans are ending up on the street. I do not know if anyone else saw it but it was really an eye opening issue. The fact that so many are ending up on the street and homeless. These are people who we sent to fight and now they come back and are becoming a hindrance to us and probably unwelcome by some. I talked with Beth about how I would love to be able to do more myself. It was just so upsetting to see they put their lives on the line and now we put them on the street. The thought is cannot we do something more?

Long week

As it says it has been a long week, though it was still only five days somehow they seem longer. I love my interaction with my students more than anything. Actually I would say 98% of them anyway. I gave a test today and after class I saw three of them chatting and they looked up to see me coming their way. Making eye contact I lost my concentration of picking up my left foot and my foot dropped and I stumbled forward. Thankfully God was helping me so I was able to catch myself and not fall on my face. My three students were quick to respond and asked me if I was alright, even though I did not fall down. I assured them I was ok and I admit I was thankful that they cared enough to ask. We chatted for a few minuets and then I headed on my way. My reminder that I still have to think as I walk.

The headaches were not as bad this week either, which was nice as was my sleeping. It may be a step at a time but I will take the step. I am glad the weekend is here so I can relax and enjoy. Beth bought me Tiger Woods golf for the Wii in June of last year. Unfortunately due to seizures and the tumor I was never able to use it. Well I got it out dusted it off and have played it a few times and it is nice. It may not be real golf but it is somewhat enjoyable to make believe. I look at it like these 'fantasy' baseball or football leagues. None of it is real except what you make of it.

Time

Well I haven't put an update on in a few days. Things have gone on but I just have not kept up with the updates. As I said my MRI was clean so my primary care doctor said concerning my head aches to see my neurologist. I am not scheduled to see him for another three weeks. I guess now I will call him and try to get the appointment moved up. Today I walked up to a colleague I know and asked them what they teach at the college campus. Unfortunately for me they teach psychology as I do and I recognized that once they reminded me. I was wondering if she might share my moment of embarrassment or not. If she does share it will they attribute it to my brain surgery and if so think I may not be competent to teach. Of course when I shared with my brother and wife they told me I was making too much of it. I know my classes are going well so I will rest upon that. Oh yea I forgot to mention the colleague I forgot was from my department is doing my evaluation on Wednesday. Who would have thought?

I know my sleeping pattern seems to be messed up again so I do not know what to expect. I take my medications and the ones I take should be allowing me to fall asleep but as you can read and see here it is almost 11:30 and I am not tired. I will try again in a little bit but I do not want to disturb Beth's sleep because I watch television as I fall off to sleep. So I come down stairs and hope to do something to keep me busy and tire me out also. Over all life is good though, headaches, sleep broken up makes no difference it is still good.