Keeping up on keeping up

Wow, what a few days it has been. I had some physical therapy yesterday and Andy like usual decided to mix things up a bit. I wore my portable STIM device to help me walk so he could use it in my therapy and that was for the better. When it got to doing my exercises he added weight and repetitions to my already grueling routine. I really appreciate this because time is no longer on my side. The doctors have told me I only have between twelve months and if real lucky another six after that. Usually they give a year but it is possible. So being the surgery was a little over six months ago the time is ticking away as to how much more recovery I will make. I am not worried though really I am not. Anyway back to my therapy, Andy had me do my lifting my leg by bending it up backwards toward my back and I can but letting it down is like a ton of bricks falling. No matter how hard I tried I could not control the muscles to slow it down. Maybe in time. Then he wanted me continue on lie on my stomach and bend the leg back and then swing it to the left and the right. Well with some help I could do it, actually Andy did the moving I tried. So what does this all mean? As Beth so happily says so many times [sometimes I really dread hearing it] "well it is what it is". Acceptance, that is what it is plain and simple.

I will be using a cane to assist me in my walking from now on, how much will I need it for balance is questionable but I will need it. My brace, well I am at a point where I am realizing that I will be using the brace to help support myself standing and walking. I will also use the portable STIM device to help me walk without the brace but I still will need the cane to protect my balance. The possibility exists that I am 100% wrong and in six months I will not need a brace or STIM device. Reality is though I look back at the progress I've made and unless something drastically changes in my recovery cane and brace are my new friends. I can easily learn and am learning that they are my companions and that is fine with me. Though a burden in someways I will learn to make the most of it and enjoy all that I have and I do have so much.

My classes have been going quite well too. I have some 'interesting' students again to make it interesting. Some might think my biggest problem or issue is with walking or the assistance I need. A problem I face, not have, is others and their lack of understanding. A simple example is when someone pulls up to pick me up the distance between the curb and car could create a huge problem for me. Add to that ice, snow and slush along with my inability to balance. All together I will be working off balance to reach and try to do simple everyday tasks that people do I cannot. I guess in a way I do not live up to some people's expectations and unfortunately I cannot. It is ok that they feel that way though and I will learn to be accepting to that as with the other things in my life. I don't want to make the blog too long so I will end but I am feeling the need to write and explain to people look beyond yourself. Maybe that has to do with my profession of psychology and being a psychologist.