Looking back

I was thinking back looking at all the medical issues in my life. I use to speak with such pride when asked about my medical background. At the ripe old age of 28 I could state that with the exception of one in and out medical procedure I had no other hospital visits. Since a child I was Blessed to avoid the hospital and someone who has known me for awhile mentioned that maybe that is why the last two years have been so hectic on me. The conversation came up because they asked me how I was honestly doing and I told them I was feeling emotionally exhausted. They knew I was not the type to complain or let most people know if I needed help. The person was also well aware that in May of 2008 I was diagnosed with a kidney stone called a staghorn about the size of a golf ball but a bit smaller. The doctor put me under three times and blasted them only to cut it down to about one third of its original size. In between the first and second blasting's I developed sciatica nerve damage, and went to physical therapy to help it heal. So here I sit today eighteen months after the discovery of kidney stones and I still have them, had brain surgery, left leg is partially paralyzed, and am looking at possibly needing surgery on yet another 'new' issue that has cropped up. I know to some this may sound like I am complaining but I really am not. I am just so use to doing for myself and others. I admit though that I did and do feel exhausted emotionally, kind of like re-gaining strength with the help of God. I have no idea what the future holds but I do know that it will be a Blessing no matter. I am just going to take things one at a time and not let them over come me. Last night was a good night as I slept for about eight hours only waking up two times. That is impressive for me at this point. I didn't wear my AFO brace the last four days because I thought it was restricting me too much in being able to bend my knee. So I wore the old ones that are more just heavy cloth. I realized though on Thursday that my left foot was turning to its side again, so I had to walk very slowly. Bottom line is I made a big mistake because my left foot is sore to walk with. I found out I didn't know as much as I thought I did. Oh well I will use the AFO brace and work the muscles to strengthen the foot as much as it will. My brother told me how some have had surgery done to shorten the tendons up to help strengthen a foot when you stretch them out too much. So in about four weeks I see the 'new' doctor to see if I will require surgery or am healing by the body's own power. I pray that is the case so I can see about getting the kidney stone out surgically as is needed at this point. I am so thankful for my faith and the faith of those around me. I wonder how people who do not have faith, what do they do when these things are before them? I also know that though I am emotionally tired He will give me strength and see me persevere.