Neurologist's update

Well I have mixed emotions to say the least. Not having suffered a seizure in six months so I was praying that the doctor would tell me I could drive again in one, two or even three months. Also the medication I am taking for anti-seizure is Keppra. I am on 250 mg once a day, I once was on 1,500 mg a day so that is quite a change. So the doctor told me that the 250 mg was a dose that would only last about 6 hours. This means that taking it at 6 AM by noon my body was on its own for preventing a seizure. Lesson is that I no longer need the medicine. I loved hearing that message. Then I asked about driving only to hear that I cannot drive until the end of June time frame. I was defeated, feeling totally defeated. All I heard was "Phil for the next six months you need to ask for rides everywhere you want to go." I have already been a hindrance to enough people and here I have to continue! I hate it, absolutely hate it! What is worse is there is nothing I can do about it but accept it. I hate acceptance, never liked it at all. That being said, yes I will 'learn' to accept the no drive somehow. People have been so helpful they really have and I pray all will continue to be there.

So, that being that the doctor talked and showed me the brain and tumor. His screens are two flat screens each about 25 inches side by side for his computer. He pulled up my MRI from before showing the tumor and it was a big one. Then he showed me the MRI from a few months ago and we see the brain growth. The brain has grown back to occupy about 1/2 the tumor area. I asked the doctor if the brain would continue to expand and occupy the remaining empty area. To my surprise the doctor told me that the brain would not grow back and take back the area that was once occupied by the tumor. So bottom line is the brain is done doing what it will be doing upstairs sort to speak.

Now moving on to therapy. I asked the neurologist if I should continue physical therapy. My thinking was if the brain is not going to take back its space then my regaining use might not increase either. Well my neurologist asked me if I was making gains in my therapy and I responded yes I was. He said that I should continue the therapy then. He was very encouraging here as he said not only can I make gains up to a year but up to a year and a half which is six months more than I previously understood. That is good as I feel I can make even more strides in using my leg.

My neurologist looked at my afo brace for the leg and told me about a foot device that will send electrical stimulation as I walk to help the foot pick itself up as I walk. He said he did not think it would be covered by insurance so I asked how much it would cost. He told me it would cost between 2 and 3 thousand dollars. Wow! That is a bit much, so I plan on talking to my benefit people and see if I can get at least two thirds of it paid for by insurance so I can possibly get one. I honestly feel they owe me that much for all I have been through. Even if I cannot get one I will still make as many gains as I can, with or without them. I just felt so defeated when they said another six months.

I don't mean to complain really I don't but I have my private practice of my clinical counseling and teaching. It is full life and a busy one when I am driving so you can imagine what it is like trying to do that when I cannot drive. I have been limiting seeing clients to only two days a week so I could arrange rides and such. With the expenses accompanied with my private practice I was really hoping to increase to three days a week for clients but I would really need to have free access to come and go. Unfortunately I will not have that freedom so I am revisiting the schedule for teaching and my practice. Christmas is upon us and that too was hard because no matter what I wanted to do I had to talk to someone, arrange schedules and then try to accomplish it. Not having the ability to just go, like working on something in the house. Normally I could just hop in the car and run to the store if I needed something, not now.

With our recent snow fall I went out to try and shovel a bit. Not gonna happen. I tried but I was not able to really accomplish much at all. That does not mean I am not going to push and try again as I will. I am grateful to be here and have those around me who love and care for and about me. So here it is getting late and I need to wrap things up so I can head off to bed. I am wondering if the space in my brain area stays will that cause my headaches to continue for the remainder of my life? I can learn to live with that too I guess.