Never Ending Tuesday

Well it is a little after 11 pm and I am finding it hard to sleep yet again so I thought I would add to my blog and maybe that will help to tire me. I realized today just how much people look past people and not at them. I knew this before being in psych0logy but having my condition of my leg working about 33% changes my view. My first example was first thing this morning as I entered the building on my way to my office to prep to teach I catch the elevator for my floor. I have not gotten brave enough to do the stair escalator yet. Anyway I was about fifteen feet from the two elevators and there were two people waiting for the elevator to take them up also. Well, both opened at the same time to go up and guess what? Each person made the elevator personally theirs closing the doors as I approached. I guess both taking one elevator so one was still available for the next person was a bit much to expect. So they both stared at me hobbling along with cane in hand towards them as their doors closed. I wondered if they were going to the same floor. Later on as I was making my way to Beth's office for my taxi ride home I started on my two block walk. I crossed my first street and headed for my second street to cross and then just up a block to her office. Funny but now the walk - don't walk signs and traffic lights changing are really important to me. Not having the ability to move quickly I time it out. I was watching and the little person walking that was lit up was still there, the flashing orange hand had not shown and I was nearly to the corner. Could I actually make it? Well some people also walking the street seemed to stop right in front of me so I had to make my way around them with my cane and bag over the shoulder. Well just a few made it so the evil flashing hand was in place and the light changing. As I passed or made my way around a person I said "Oh excuse me, sorry" which I know was a bit of sarcasm [which I teach my students is never constructive] but it got the best of me. That is when I realized, was I oblivious to the needs of others when I was all good to go? Being honest I probably was, I mean they are not purposely being rude or mean but did I ever take a minute to see if my action could make life easier for them? Don't get me wrong many hold a door for me and such, though some today kept moving and let it close on me. I just never realized how walking around people makes such a difference when walking is strenuous like it is on me. Going the two blocks was more than enough where my left leg was shaking when I picked it up to take a step, so every step was important. I use to take steps for granted and thought all could but some cannot. That being said this not sleeping is beginning to have a pattern to it and I will talk to the doctor in the morning. Since being up all day Sunday I have had a total of seven hours of sleep up to tonight, midnight Tuesday. I am not tired like I usually would get though so it is new to me.